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The Grinch Ornament

I enjoy making Christmas ornaments to represent the years of my life. This year, I bought a Grinch ornament as a symbol of the last five years.

We had a pandemic to start this five year period  and ended it with the longest shutdown in US history. In my personal life, I commuted to and from work carrying a letter stating that I was an essential worker. I was never stopped. But, I sometimes imagined what it would be like to be stopped. I watched church services from home instead of going to church.

The second year (2021) started with the January 6th riot. I watched it on television just like many other Americans. My friend and I got Covid 19 in January. On November 21st, the Waukesha Christmas parade tragedy happened. I suspect that I will never know why I decided to stay home that day. I never skip the Christmas parade.

In 2022, Russia invaded Ukraine and my employer closed our factory. While they gave me a generous severance package, it was still hard to be unemployed. Yet, I quickly found a new job.

In 2023, my cat died.

In 2024, my apartment had cockroaches. I moved to a new apartment in February of 2025.

When I reviewed my blog to create this list, I was surprised by how  much has happened in the past five years.I am proud that I survived all of this. I am also thankful for all of my family, friends and church for helping me through it all.

I don’t want to list them because I know that I will miss someone.

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Quotes from The Lombardi Rules

I recently read The Lombardi Rules by Vince Lombardi, Jr. While the book was a short and easy read, I found a few good quotes. The book is intended to guide new leaders.

“Most important, character is a series of decisions and choices that you make as you grow and mature. Character is not something that is handed to you; it must be forged through years of hard work and discipline. It is the culmination of years of choosing to act one way rather than another, of choosing truth over deception, respect over arrogance, compassion over cruelty.”  (Pg.18)

While at work, I have told people that character takes a long time to build but destroying it is fast.

Monarch butterfly

I chose a butterfly to signify the journey of building character. A butterfly starts as a caterpillar and becomes a butterfly in secret just as we build character outside of the eyes of others.

“Great achievements require courage, determination, drive, and a willingness to pay the price.” (Pg. 35)

I question whether I am willing to pay the price. I prefer not to work overtime at work. I give my all when at work but I rarely stay late. I want to become a lead for a small work group some day.

“Even if you don’t feel you’re getting the visibility you deserve, continue to hone your skills and demonstrate your competence. Years of obscurity gave Lombardi the chance to improve his technique.” (Pg. 70-71)

This quote makes me think of the value of being faithful.

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My summer adventure

This spring, my local park (Parkview Park) got a grant to install a butterfly enclosure. I started visiting it almost daily.

Inside the enclosure, there is a poster showing the life cycle of Monarch butterflies.

Monarch butterfly life cycle

I enjoyed seeing these stages in real life this summer.

Here is an egg on a milkweed leaf (I hope). I had trouble finding them and sometimes wondered if it was white sap from the plant on it. So, I put them into the plastic bowl and hoped.

The next stage is a caterpillar. They start off very tiny and eat only milkweed. As time goes on, they get bigger.

Monarch butterfly caterpillars

When they are ready, they hang themselves upside down in a J shape.

Monarch butterfly caterpillars

I wanted to see a caterpillar make the chrysalis but never got to.The chrysalises started out light green and slowly developed some gold sparkles as time went by. Then, they become transparent with the butterfly visible inside.

Monarch butterfly in a transparent chrysalis.

When it got this far, I knew that I’d see a butterfly in a day or two.

Monarch butterfly awaiting release

Here is a butterfly that landed in the butterfly garden after release.

Two Monarch butterflies on flowers

The day after I attended my first release gathering, the sound of the girl saying “stretch” every time the butterfly opened its wings ran through my mind for hours at work.

Later in the summer, Lisa Salb began sticking numbered stickers to their wings. If other people find them, they can enter them online and track their path. I hope some fly to Mexico and I hear about it.

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The Lord’s Prayer for Justice

My church says the Lord’s Prayer during each of our worship services. Here is the version that I am used to.

Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name,

thy kingdom come,

thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread;

and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us;

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

My pastor shared a few other versions of the prayer. One version was titled “The Lord’s Prayer for Justice.” An American nun and author named Joan Chrittister wrote it.

Our Father who art in heaven…

Remind us that you are not only in heaven but here on earth too,

In the faces of the poor, the hungry, the homeless,

And the forgotten.

Hallowed by thy name…

May the reverence we give your name

Pull us from our petty preoccupations

And focus us on your will for the world.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done…

Help us to build your kingdom here:

A kingdom of peace, justice, and mercy.

Give us this day our daily bread…

So that we may share with others

What we have received from your hand.

Forgive us our trespasses…

As we open our hearts to forgive those

Who have offended us.

Lead us not into temptation…

Especially the temptation to close our eyes

To the injustice around us.

But deliver us from evil…

For our world is fraught with darkness.

Let us be bearers of your light.

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory,

Forever and ever. Amen.

My pastor gave us a copy of this prayer. I really like it. The first verse reminds me of the Catholic Worker Movement. I have read about Dorothy Day and Mother Theresa and loved their focus on helping the least among us. This prayer is a great guide on how I want to live my life.

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Hope Always Rises

While at Martha Merrel’s bookstore, I found a local author’s book. It was titled Hope Always Rises by Kathie Giorgio.

Hope killed herself with Zinfandel and Zoloft and awoke in heaven. She took up residence in a gated community for people who committed suicide. They have group therapy on Wednesdays. Giorgio shares her experiences in heaven and the suicide stories of the people that Hope meets.

“Hi, Hope,” he said. “I’m God. And welcome to Heaven. I’m going to sit with you for a while, until you’re ready to see where you’re living now.” (PG. 3)

This line made me cry. Offering to sit with someone is one of the best ways to respond to someone who is sad or depressed.

While I know that people don’t want to reward someone for committing suicide, I believe that God will welcome his followers even after suicide. He knows how hard it is to live in this world especially when our brains insult us or lie to us.

I dream of a heaven where I can learn new things, hear the stories of my new neighbors and explore the universe. I can’t imagine myself sitting on a cloud or golfing. I want to find an activity that makes people happy on Earth and in heaven.

What do you want to do in heaven?

Who do you want to meet in heaven?

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Protesting and my Faith

After I posted “Why I Protest,” I noticed that I didn’t share how my faith plays into my desire to protest.

One particular verse has been playing itself in my head over and over. He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? (Micah 6:8).

Since I want to know God’s will for my life, I love this verse. The verse lists three things that God wants His followers to do.

The first instruction is “do justly.” I believe that this means that I am to be honest in all my interactions with others and stand up when an innocent person is being harmed. I am currently listening to a book titled Framed that tells the stories of people who have been convicted of crimes that they didn’t commit. Black Lives Matter and our current protests demanding due process for all in the US are good examples of doing justice.

I can imagine my Republican friend pointing out that doing justly also includes harsh penalties in order to punish wrong doers and protect society. She would probably bring up the importance of fairness in how the government distributes financial assistance. While I believe this, I suspect there is little fraud in food stamps, Medicare, Medicaid and welfare.

he second one is “love mercy.” God’s mercy is when He gives us something that we don’t deserve. Salvation is the most obvious example. In the justice system, mercy is when the judge is more lenient than expected. The Strong’s Concordance defines mercy with the word “kindness.” While I know that some people will take advantage of acts of mercy and/or kindness, I hope to find opportunities to fulfill this instruction from God. I limit my money donations to charities or my church except for a few dollars for random people sometimes. I remind myself that I don’t know their situation.

The last instruction is to “walk humbly with thy God “I believe that this means that I continually double check what I believe to be true.

What are the facts in this news article?

Does the writer use any opinionated words?

What is my evidence for and against what I believe?

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Why I protest

I have been resisting the urge to write about politics on this site because I want to be welcoming to all. Today, I will share why I have attended two protests this year and plan to keep it up.

I think it is best for me to start with my feelings about my nation, the United States. I love the US because I was born and lived my whole life here. My grandparents and my parents were born and lived here too. The state of Ohio and the local government funded my public education which prepared me for college. I went to college with the help of a Pell Grant and college work study. I saw myself as an independent rather than a Republican or Democrat. When Obama was president, I was helped by Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Due to the times of my life that my government helped me, I was thankful for what the USA did for me. I was proud of the generosity of my government/nation towards people in need in the US and in other countries. I learned about the Peace Corps and dreamed of joining it as a way to experience adventure and help others. Due to my depression, I never managed to become a doctor or missionary. Yet, my depression and childhood also gave me a strong sense of empathy towards the struggles of others. President Kennedy started the Peace Corps and said, “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.” I never worried about who was President. I would vote and trust that whoever won would do the job to the best of his ability.

When Trump became president in 2016, I was worried about how things were going to go. I tried to live with it but I saw Trump angering our allies and separating families. This was my first time protesting. In fairness to my Republican friends, Obama started the separation policy due to a difference in the length of time a minor can be detained as compared to an adult. But, Trump expanded it by choosing to prosecute everyone for illegally crossing the border. It was a tiny protest by the Waukesha library and Cutler Park.

My next two protests were Black Lives Matter in Waukesha. I have always believed in a color blind society as the ideal until I started seeing videos of blacks being mistreated and/or killed by cops. The videos and books helped me to see that our gut instincts are a blend of intuition and our society’s hang ups. I try to find any racist thinking in my thoughts but I suspect that I still have some unconscious racist beliefs. This is why I feel that we need to focus on helping whoever is being mistreated in our society. When I was participating in Black Lives Matter protests, the phrase ” justice for all” was playing in my head. I used to recite the pledge of allegiance in the mornings at school. Then, they slowly removed it from my schooling. It was my belief then and now that a just society protects the rights of each and every person in that society regardless of race. Now, I add immigration status to the list.

I will end this post with a quote from The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus. This poem is on the Statue of Liberty which was given to the United States by France. I learned about this poem in elementary school.

“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

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A lasting legacy

If you could have something named after you, what would it be?

I have a friend whose father has a medical school  named after him due to a large donation. I have always wanted to leave behind a legacy of saved lives.

I would love to have a well dug in some water deprived community with a small plaque with my name on it. Or maybe, a life saving drug that I discovered.

I want to be remembered as a world changer. Yet, my life is so ordinary that I doubt that people will remember me much after I die.

Here is a quote from The Lost Choice by Andy Andrews.

I made you different from the others.

On the planet Earth, there has never been one like…and there never will be again.

Your spirit,your thoughts and feelings, your ability to reason-all exist in no one else….

Of the multitudes who have come before you and the multitudes who may follow, not one of them duplicates the formula with which I made you. …

I made you different in order that you might make a difference.

You have been created with the ability to change the world. Every single choice you make…every single action you take…matters. But remember, the converse is also true. Every choice you do not make…every action you do not take…matters just as much! …

By your hand, millions of lives will be altered, caught up in a chain of events begun by you this very day. But, the opposite is true as well. Millions of lives are also altered, caught up in an entirely different chain of events-if you choose to weight.

You possess the power of choice. Free will. You have been given everything you need to act, but the choice is yours alone. And beginning this very moment, you will choose wisely.

Now go. And never feel inadequate again. Do not dwell on thoughts of insignificance or wander aimlessly, lost, like a sheep.

You are powerful. You matter. And you have been found

You are my choice.

Your Father

I believe that God gave us talents and passions that are unique to each individual. He wants us to discover our abilities and desires and use them to make our communities, families and work places better.

My dream is to use this blog to encourage other Christians with a mental illness. I am better at writing than talking to people.

My prayer is for you all to find your calling or vocation. A vocation is not limited to religious jobs. It can be anything that is ethical.

What do you love to do?

Where do you feel the most empathy for others?

What are you good at? If you can’t think of anything, ask a friend?

What are you doing to improve your talents and skills?

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Jill Jackson Miller: Peace

Here is a quote from Wikipedia.

In an archival interview aired on David Freudberg’s National Public Radio program Humankind, Jill Jackson talked about her background and the context of the song.

“When I attempted suicide [in 1944] and I didn’t succeed,” she said, “I knew for the first time unconditional love—which God is. You are totally loved, totally accepted, just the way you are. In that moment I was not allowed to die, and something happened to me, which is very difficult to explain. I had an eternal moment of truth, in which I knew I was loved, and I knew I was here for a purpose.”

I have not checked the accuracy of this quote but suspect it to be true because other websites mentioned her trying to commit suicide.

She wrote the song titled Let there be Peace on Earth in 1955 with her husband Seymour Miller.

Here are the lyrics.

Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me
Let There Be Peace on Earth
The peace that was meant to be
With God as our Father
Brothers all are we
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony.
Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With ev’ry step I take
Let this be my solemn vow
To take each moment and live
Each moment in peace eternally
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.

I want to be a peacemaker but I am unsure how to do that in a nation that is as divided as ours is.

God, help me to know how to serve You, my community and fellow citizens in the midst of this chaotic world. I feel so lost and overwhelmed by the constant barrage of news. Yet, I know that You are by my side which gives me hope. Thank You for loving me. Amen.

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My new favorite place

When I lived in downtown Waukesha, my favorite place to walk, relax and exercise was Frame Park. This page is full of pictures from there.

Last month, I moved closer to the hospital. So, I was hoping to find a new favorite place. It is Woodfield Park and Ascension Lutheran Church’s memorial gardens.

Woodfield Park which is right next to the church has a fishing pond with a path around it.

Iced over pond

I am excited to see what it will look like when summer comes. Nearby is a creek.

Rocks in creek

Ascension Lutheran Church has a small pathway of their own.

Ascension Lutheran Church Memorial Gardens

The pathway is wide and easy to walk in order to make it available to all. At the end, a bench sits facing the creek.

It was very peaceful as I sat there listening to the creek gurgling and birds chirping.

Where is your favorite place?

If you don’t have one, I challenge you to wander around your neighborhood and see if you can find one.