Driving. I am scared of changing lanes right in front of someone that I didn’t see in my blind spot. Or pulling out in front of someone in my other blind spot. Getting distracted by something further down the street or a big truck near me and failing to respond to something else. When I drove in poorly plowed snowy roads, my Fitbit registered it as exercise.
In my dreams, I try driving while my lower body is stuck in the back seat. The car goes faster and faster but I can only steer the car.
I am scared of confrontation. I talked to my boss about my application for a lead position and my desire to make 20 dollars an hour. I ended up crying. I can’t remember if my heart rate went up or not. My Fitbit didn’t register and zone minutes around that time.
The hymn titled “Amazing Grace” was written by John Newton (1725-1807). After serving in the Royal Navy, Newton entered the slave trade. He worked as a captain of a slave trade ship. He saw with his own eyes the harsh treatment that the African slaves were experiencing. In 1748, Newton cried out to God while on his ship in the midst of a storm. He continued in the slave trade until 1754. Ten years later, he was ordained in the Church of England. Newton wrote this hymn to illustrate a sermon on New Year’s Day in 1773. Here are the lyrics.
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see.
Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved; how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed!
Through many dangers, toils, and snares I have already come; tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me; his word my hope secures; he will my shield and portion be as long as life endures.
When we’ve been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we’ve no less days to sing God’s praise than when we’d first begun.
In 1788, Newton wrote Thoughts upon the African Slave Trade. Here is a quote from that book. “I hope it will always be a subject of humiliating reflection to me, that I was once an active instrument in a business at which my heart now shudders.”
As I have been working on my daily photo challenge for the American Cancer Society, I have been photographing things that represent what I am thankful for.
I have a calendar that lists a variety of unheard of holidays for each day of the year. Today has worship of tools day in the list. So, I googled it. According to Google’s AI, tools day is a reminder to take care of your tools. So today, I am thankful for the people who invented tools. I especially appreciate a magnetized Philip screw driver. The screw that holds the ground wires are on the back of the box with plenty of insulated wires in my way at work. So, I bought a new magnetized screw driver for it. My employer’s new screw driver couldn’t even hold the screw up long enough for me to reach the hole.
“Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift. It liberates us from the prison of self-preoccupation.” John Orberg
“Glad that I live am I:
That the sky is blue;
Glad for the country lanes,
And the fall of dew. “A Little Song of Life,” Stanza 1 Lizette Reese (1856-1935)
I posted two pictures on Facebook earlier this week as part of the photo a day challenge for the American Cancer Society.
This one is the one that represents family to me. My mom bought me the cat reading a book for Christmas one year. The second is a character that I made at Legoland while visiting my brother’s family in Florida.
This picture represents my friends. The two cats are from a work friend. The painted rock is from a rock collecting friend a few blocks from me.
I am thankful for my family and friends. I am sorry for not expressing or showing that often.
God, please guide the leaders of the US, Israel, Iran, other middle East nations, Europe and any other nation involved with this war. I know that some travellers have got stuck in the Middle East due to the closures of air space. Help those travellers to get home. Protect civilians as this war continues.
I want to ask You to bring our troops home safely but I think I should pray for the well being of all combatants. They are all fighting because it is what our governments have ordered them to do. In other circumstances, they could be friends. War sucks for everyone involved.
Please reassure everyone involved in this war that you are with them. Please bring peace to the Middle East. I just want the suffering to end. Amen.
One Lira from Israel Half Lira from Israel
I collect coins from foreign countries. I like to be able to hold things from all over the world.
5 Rials from Iran
This is my next entry in the photo a day challenge for the American Cancer Society. Yesterday’s photos were a thanksgiving for being taught to read.
This is day one of the daily photo challenge with the American Cancer Society. My church is on the second Sunday of lent. As part of lent, they put out two blessings bowls. I couldn’t find much on the practice on Google but I am excited by the idea. I like to give people stuff but I am too shy to do so. This is why I enjoy painting rocks and leaving them places during the better weather seasons.
Twice in my life, I have had concerning results to a mammogram. Fortunately, both were benign but it caused me to think about what it must be like to have breast cancer.
My first concerning mammogram was a few years before the pandemic. They found something in my left breast and recommended an ultrasound aided biopsy. On the day of the procedure, the doctor explained that it would be a biopsy or a cyst aspiration depending on what they found. He ended up sucking a clear fluid from the cyst and leaving a metal marker. I was so relieved that it wasn’t cancer that I took a walk around town looking into shop windows and listening to my brain repeatedly say, “I don’t have cancer.” I wanted to tell everybody. I think I might have told a stranger at Walmart too.
During the pandemic, I developed a breast infection and had a core needle biopsy but I never believed that cancer was possible. My general practitioner wanted to “rule out cancer” before prescribing an antibiotic. So, I never worried about having cancer for that one.
The second mammogram of concern was this January.
Biopsy prep information and results glossary
This time the biopsy was guided by mammogram images. It was called a stereotactic biopsy.
When I arrived, I was taken to a consultation room and met the doctor who read my mammogram and was going to do the biopsy. She was a young woman. I had read the mammogram report which used a BI-RAD scoring scale of 4b. 4b means that there is a 10 to 50% chance of cancer. When I asked the doctor about my odds, she said 50%. I replied that I don’t like those odds. I signed the consent form and she called the exam room in order to see if they were ready for me. I saw a bed up in the air like a bunk bed with medical equipment under it where the lower bed would be. I climbed up and laid on my stomach with my right breast sticking through a hole in the bed. It felt strange because I usually go to sleep on my stomach in a similar position. My rib cage below my right breast felt uncomfortable. Here is a website describing the procedure. I worried about the cost even though I knew that I needed to know what was causing the micro calcifications. I predicted that it would be in thousands of dollars. Since the biopsy was on Friday, I had to wait over the weekend for the results. For me, that was a long weekend but Monday felt longer. I worked while distracted which caused a few air headed moments. I kept checking my online chart during every break and saw nothing. When I finally got home, the results showed up in my chart. I printed it out and read it over and over. I thought it was benign but it didn’t say anywhere. It just said what the sample was. Then, the call came and they said it was benign. I grinned all day at work the next day and wondered how much it would cost me and my insurance.
In February, I got the bill. The total was 12,000 dollars. My insurance paid 9,000 dollars and I paid almost 3,000 dollars.
Breast biopsy cost
This experience got me thinking about what it might be like to have breast cancer. During the weekend awaiting the results, I Googled a lot of stuff on breast cancer which caused Facebook to start sharing stuff about breast cancer. I started thinking that I had it as a way to mentally prepare. I was planning to talk to my pastor and update friends and family with the news. Yet, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to need surgery followed by radiation treatments like my friend’s doctor had recommended to her when she had breast cancer. She went with surgery without radiation. How much would all of that cost? Who would guide the patient and her family through all of the medical terminology?
Facebook shared a photo a day challenge from the American Cancer Society. Since I love photography and got a crash course on breast biopsies, I joined the challenge. Here is my fundraiser page. I will post my daily picture on this blog and update my Facebook periodically during the challenge. Please share your experiences with cancer and/or the American Cancer Society.
I checked the charity navigator website and saw that the American Cancer Society got the highest rating possible.
Sometimes, I get adventuresome and want to try something that I have never had before. This week was one of those weeks.
The first thing that I tried was Dubai style chocolate. I found it in the clearance section and thought it was discounted. After I got home, I noticed that it was over five dollars for it.
It tasted like a chocolate bar with a crunchy filling to me. I couldn’t detect any different or interesting flavors.
The next food that I tried was a boba tea without the tea. I have been wanting to see what boba tea was but don’t like tea. I asked if they had something without tea. She agreed to substitute lemonade for the tea. When I got my drink, I was fascinated by the extra wide straw until I dipped it. I discovered the idea of boba pearls! They are tasty bubbles with juice in them.
I had to go home so that I could suck the juice in order to see the pearls.
Lastly, I tried Mexican chocolate. It was a spicy chocolate. It had cinnamon in it. The Internet said that Mexican hot chocolate tastes similar.
Have you tried any foods that you have never had before recently?
