“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams
I painted a rock and put this quote on it. The rock is now sitting at my work station.
What is your favorite leadership quote?
Trying new ideas
I have been wanting to make a Mandela design on a rock.There is a lady in my city who creates the most beautiful rocks. She calls herself the Dotting Chick. So, I decided to try to create one.
As you can see, my rock has none of the eye popping color or the perfect dot size and spacing. When I Googled in order to share a link, I discovered on her Facebook page that she does classes at a local store. I went to her class yesterday and enjoyed it. I will practice and try making some more Mandela rocks.
My second experiment was to see how a rock would look without a white base coat.
The heart on the back is not as bright as I think it was when I did a white base coat.I will return to using a white under coat.
One of the YouTube channels that I follow posted a video on how to use a dollar sign to draw two hugging bunnies. Here is a picture of my sixth drawing.
I have picked out three rocks that I will try to paint this on. I will be looking for some more Easter ideas.
Here are the three rocks with the hugging bunnies. I like them but hope to get better.
Now, if I can get the guts to set up an e-mail subscription and YouTube channel.
What have you done that is new or different recently?
What are you working on getting the guts to do?
How I cope with negative feelings.
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
I have experienced a lot of negative feelings including sadness (major depressive disorder), social anxiety, anger and grief. So, this post will probably be long.
When I was angry, I went on a brisk walk. I can’t even remember why I was mad. I just remember wanting to kick or throw the stuff in my apartment. So, I deliberately wore myself out. I remember having an inner argument as I walked on the sidewalk. I wondered if anyone saw me walking and gesturing with my hands.
Other times, I have cried or talked it out. I have also scribbled or torn up a paper with a word that represents what I am mad at.
When I was in a depression episode, I reached out to a therapist and psychiatrist for help. The therapist helped me to work through some unresolved issues concerning the death of my great aunt while the anti-depressants helped me by reducing social anxiety and improved the sleeping pattern.
I also wrote “Dear God” letters, pretend therapy and created some of my own art therapy as a way to express and work through my emotions.
What has worked for you? What have you seen work for others?
National divorce: do we need therapy?
I thought of this idea while at work. I have a job that uses low level brain power and a lot of hands on work. I think a good therapist would suspect that fear is a large factor in our nation’s disagreement. So, the therapist would work to reassure the parties that neither outcome will destroy the US. Perhaps, he/she would say,”We have survived world wars and a Civil war. We will survive this election too.”
Then, both parties would start sharing their worst case scenarios. The therapist stops them and says,”I can only hear one at a time.”
“Thanks to President Biden, we have open borders. Immigrants are flooding in from all over the world. Border patrol stops them, processes them and releases them into the country to await a hearing. They may be terrorists or criminals.” The Republican sighed in frustration. “Having a secure border is essential to our ability to be safe.”
“But, the Biden administration needs Congress to work with him in order to secure the border ”
“I am hearing that you are concerned about the safety of our nation due to the struggle to secure our border. Is that correct?” The therapist made eye contact with the Republican.
“Yes. I know that some people use this argument in relation to racism. But, I am not saying that one race is more violent than others.” The Republican looked nervously at the Democrat.
“I am not going to call you a racist. I believe most of us work hard to not be racist. It is just that our culture has racism deeply embedded in it. So, we have instinct like racism that hides under our more obvious beliefs.”
“If we are a racist society, how will minorities be willing to work hard to get ahead. Many black people have left poverty and worked their way into high government positions, started companies and many other achievements.”
The Democrat replied, “True. It is possible to achieve the American dream no matter what your race,sex or income. It is more challenging for some groups than others. There is a school activity that teaches about ‘white privilege.'”
“Interesting. What is this activity?”asked the therapist.
“It is a race. The teacher instructs the students to take a step forward if they had access to tutors. The teacher continues to list these early life advantages that some students had while the others did.n’t have them” Explained the Democrat.
“Many of us whites didn’t have tutors or decent clothes, yet we became successful. Anyone can do that.”
“Most successful people had a time when someone encouraged them or gave them a chance. Perhaps, their first job, a teacher or coach guided them. I want everyone to have access to these moments of encouragement and nourishment.”
“That sounds great. But, I am concerned that it would take too much money and resources to mentor all students. This needs to be done through charitable organizations and churches rather than our government.” Added the Republican.
“I can see some schools choosing to set up a mentor program. I doubt that it could be done for all students.”
I suspect the debate would continue like this. I believe that we need to make our voting decision based on who will be best for the job. I suspect that many of us are unhappy to see that it will be Trump vs Biden AGAIN.
I believe that we all love this country and want what is best for this country. I ask that we all cease insulting the other side and remember to treat our neighbors as ourselves.
Banned words
If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?
If I was the world dictator for a day and could ban phrases, I’d ban “I can’t”, “I should” and “I am a bad…”.
I can’t in our thinking and words tend to decrease our willingness to try with all of our abilities. Yet, there are some things that we must accept as limits to our abilities. So, I suppose I wouldn’t ban these words, I would choose to reduce their usage though.
I used to think “I should dump my trash, clean my dishes, clean the microwave, mop the floor…” Until I overwhelmed myself. I have managed to reduce the frequency of this phrase. Using the phrase “I should” will make you feel guilty or overwhelm you.
The last phrase that I listed is insulting yourself. I seem to love to do this especially in response to compliments.
As you can tell, I have a lot to learn. What phrases are you attempting to decrease in your thinking and words?
Advice for teenage self
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
I walk up to the stable where I grew up and find the younger me playing in the yard.
Me: Hi Tracy. I am you as an adult.
Teen me keeps her distance from me: Yeah right.
Me: It’s true. I just want you to know that you will live to be 51 years old like I am now.
Teen me: But, God has called me. I hope He wants me to save people’s lives like a doctor or paramedic. If I died in order to save another, I’d be a hero…
Me: I know that you dream of being a missionary doctor and risking your life to serve God and help others. I want you to know that you are smart.
Teen me: But, Bruce said that I am too stupid to be a doctor. (Tears start to leak from her eyes.)
Me: He was mad and knew that it would hurt you. But, he is wrong. You are a smart person and don’t believe Bruce. You study hard and keep getting good grades. I am proud of you.
{I think that is the first time that I told myself that I am proud of my hard work and smarts.}
Me: Also, you are not responsible for how Bruce responds to you.
Teen me: He is the authority. So, he must be right and I am wrong.
Me: No. He has issues of his own to deal with that pushes him to mistreat you.
Teen me: Mistreat?
Me: Yes. It is normal for a child to respond slowly when trying to understand where to look for something. He gets mad because of that delay at times. That is not right.
Teen me stands there silently with a very confused expression.
Me: You will be able to move away and start your own life. Also, don’t give up. Keep doing your best.
This is similar to what I call pretend therapy. I write the client’s statement. Then, I imagine myself in the role of the therapist and write out that response. As I write out the exchange, I sometimes say something in the role of therapist that I really needed to hear/read. It also forces me to take a more empathetic view of myself just as I would a client or friend.
Yes, I am patriotic.
Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?
Yes, I am patriotic but what does that mean?
I feel pressured to believe and say that the US is the greatest nation on Earth. Since I have almost no knowledge of what it is like to live in or visit another nation let alone be a citizen, I have no way to compare the US to other nations. Yet, I have had people give me dirty looks when I have pointed this lack of knowledge out. I got the feeling that the customer thought that I was being unpatriotic by refusing to say that the US is the greatest nation on Earth.
I have also seen comments by political commentators that the complainers/protestors should just leave. I protested a few times during the Black Lives Matter protests because I want my nation to live up to its own ideals. It hurts my heart when I see my nation going in the wrong direction. So, I protest or write letters to my politicians.
For me, patriotism is loving your country and what it represents to you. The US is a part of who I am and I am a part of it. I have voted in many elections. Sometimes, my person won and other times the other candidate won. So, I continued to work and live while recognizing that person as my elected leader.
Another aspect of patriotism is seeking out ways to help your country, state and city. I help my city by being a poll worker. Ironically, I discovered last year that my mom and sister are poll workers in other states. Since I am limited on how many days that I can take off from work, I don’t volunteer elsewhere.
For those who chose to do so, joining the armed forces, police, EMTs or some other public service is another great way to live the life of a patriot.
Thank you to all who find ways to serve their communities. You are the true patriots.
Quotes about love
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa
I have always admired Mother Teresa for her devotion to God and service to the poor. Judging others will close us off to learning their struggles and past experiences. So, I do the best that I can to hear the person’s story and struggle before I start drawing value judgements or conclusions.
I believe forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they’re sorry and an even stronger person to forgive. Yolanda Hadid
Hadid is an actress. I know that I struggle to apologize. I either have trouble saying the words or I put the word “but” after them. So, I say the words and then destroy the meaning. “I’m sorry but…” I am working on using the words without the “but” word.
On forgiveness, it is important to forgive others but be careful if the person has shown you that they won’t change. Abusers tend to apologize afterwards but do it again.
Love is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. Love beats the crap out of fear, hate, jealousy, worry, insecurity, irritation, grouchiness-it’s stronger than all of ’em.You are a Badass calendar 2023.
This quote made me think of a sign in someone’s yard that I saw in my city.
If you love someone, you say it, right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by. Julia Roberts
Happy Valentine’s day to my readers- all 4 or 5 of you.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Ann Landers
This is a wonderful definition of love.
Here is a song about how much God loves us.
2024 goals: monthly check-in
Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.
When someone is working on making a change in their behavior, it is important for the goals to be measurable. I have some of my goals listed on my monthly goals chart.
I am tracking if I do a Spanish lesson on Duolingo (a free language learning app), 15 minutes or longer walks, healthy eating and 1/2 hour of chores. I am struggling with eating too many sweets, chips and popcorn. So, I only counted four days of eating healthy. I also recorded four days of spending a half hour or more on chores. I have been refusing to count grocery shopping and wondering how much time I should count for walking to the bank to get quarters for doing laundry. I did pretty good on Duo (at least 9 days) and the walking (at least 12 days).
The one that I am most happy about is that I managed to spend less than I earn. I moved into a nicer apartment in fall last year. So, the increase in rent is forcing me to tighten my spending at the grocery store and on my credit card. I doubt that I can do it in February because I am planning to buy a new mattress. My celebratory meal for meeting my budget was today.
I made myself a taco salad.
What are your new year’s resolutions?
How are you doing on them?
I hope to hear from you. I want to encourage you to get back up and dust yourself off and try again.
Wilma mankiller
Wilma Mankiller (11/18/1945-04/06/2010) was the first woman to be elected principal chief of the Cherokee nation. She worked as a social worker for five years in the 70s. In the early 1980s, she directed the newly created Community Development Department of the Cherokee nation. In 1983, she became the deputy chief and was chief from 1985 to 1995.
The happiest people I’ve ever met, regardless of their profession, their social standing, or their economic status, are people that are fully engaged in the world around them. The most fulfilled people are the ones who get up every morning and stand for something larger than themselves. They are the people who care about others, who will extend a helping hand to someone in need or will speak up about an injustice when they see it.
This is such a good quote that I have nothing to add to it.
The secret of our success is that we never, never give up.