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Advice for teenage self

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

I walk up to the stable where I grew up and find the younger me playing in the yard.

My mom and step-father (Bruce) with a horse

Me: Hi Tracy. I am you as an adult.

Teen me keeps her distance from me: Yeah right.

Me: It’s true. I just want you to know that you will live to be 51 years old like I am now.

Teen me: But, God has called me. I hope He wants me to save people’s lives like a doctor or paramedic. If I died in order to save another, I’d be a hero…

Me: I know that you dream of being a missionary doctor and risking your life to serve God and help others. I want you to know that you are smart.

Teen me: But, Bruce said that I am too stupid to be a doctor. (Tears start to leak from her eyes.)

Me: He was mad and knew that it would hurt you. But, he is wrong. You are a smart person and don’t believe Bruce. You study hard and keep getting good grades. I am proud of you.

{I think that is the first time that I told myself that I am proud of my hard work and smarts.}

Me: Also, you are not responsible for how Bruce responds to you.

Teen me: He is the authority. So, he must be right and I am wrong.

Me: No. He has issues of his own to deal with that pushes him to mistreat you.

Teen me: Mistreat?

Me: Yes. It is normal for a child to respond slowly when trying to understand where to look for something. He gets mad because of that delay at times. That is not right.

Teen me stands there silently with a very confused expression.

Me: You will be able to move away and start your own life. Also, don’t give up. Keep doing your best.

This is similar to what I call pretend therapy. I write the client’s statement. Then, I imagine myself in the role of the therapist and write out that response. As I write out the exchange, I sometimes say something in the role of therapist that I really needed to hear/read. It also forces me to take a more empathetic view of myself just as I would a client or friend.

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My favorite rock images

I enjoy painting rocks and putting them out in my neighborhood for people to find. I hope they encourage the finders. Since I have relatively low skill in painting, I choose to do certain images over and over again.

Cloud with rainbow on rock

Here is the most common one that I do. I am trying to do longer quotes now. This quote is “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” I have a previous post on this quote. I want to be clear that I know that non-believers can be courageous too. I think our faith can help us to face our fears. Yet, there are plenty of ways to build up your courage in addition to faith.

Never give up!

This is an image of a woman climbing a large  cliff. I admire people who work hard to achieve their goals. I pray that this image will remind the finder to keep trying and never give up.

I may try a sunset with a different image in the front.

Rose painted on rock

This is my newest rock painting idea. I think that I am getting better at it.

I have tried a boy climbing in a tree that looked okay to me. I also want to try a mandala design (black rock with colorful dot design).

What would you like to see on one of my rocks? Please keep any suggestions on the easy side. 

What are you doing in order to challenge yourself today or this week?

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Yes, I am patriotic.

Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

Yes, I am patriotic but what does that mean?

I feel pressured to believe and say that the US is the greatest nation on Earth. Since I have almost no knowledge of what it is like to live in or visit another nation let alone be a citizen, I have no way to compare the US to other nations. Yet, I have had people give me dirty looks when I have pointed this lack of knowledge out. I got the feeling that the customer thought that I was being unpatriotic by refusing to say that the US is the greatest nation on Earth.

I have also seen comments by political commentators that the complainers/protestors should just leave. I protested a few times during the Black Lives Matter protests because I want my nation to live up to its own ideals. It hurts my heart when I see my nation going in the wrong direction. So, I protest or write letters to my politicians.

For me, patriotism is loving your country and what it represents to you. The US is a part of who I am and I am a part of it. I have voted in many elections. Sometimes, my person won and other times the other candidate won. So, I continued to work and live while recognizing that person as my elected leader.

Another aspect of patriotism is seeking out ways to help your country, state and city.  I help my city by being a poll worker. Ironically, I discovered last year that my mom and sister are poll workers in other states. Since I am limited on how many days that I can take off from work, I don’t volunteer elsewhere.

For those who chose to do so, joining the armed forces, police, EMTs or some other public service is another great way to live the life of a patriot.

Thank you to all who find ways to serve their communities. You are the true patriots.

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Rock painting

I decided to try painting some pieces of cement that I found on the side walks near me.

The roughness made it hard to write the quotes. But, I still enjoyed doing them and hope others will enjoy them too.

Happy Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday!

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Quotes about love

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

I have always admired Mother Teresa for her devotion to God and service to the poor. Judging others will close us off to learning their struggles and past experiences. So, I do the best that I can to hear the person’s story and struggle before I start drawing value judgements or conclusions.

I believe forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they’re sorry and an even stronger person to forgive. Yolanda Hadid

Hadid is an actress. I know that I struggle to apologize. I either have trouble saying the words or I put the word “but” after them. So, I say the words and then destroy the meaning. “I’m sorry but…” I am working on using the words without the “but” word.

On forgiveness, it is important to forgive others but be careful if the person has shown you that they won’t change. Abusers tend to apologize afterwards but do it again.

Love is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. Love beats the crap out of fear, hate, jealousy, worry, insecurity, irritation, grouchiness-it’s stronger than all of ’em.You are a Badass calendar 2023.

This quote made me think of a sign in someone’s yard that I saw in my city.

Love wins

If you love someone, you say it, right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by. Julia Roberts

Happy Valentine’s day to my readers- all 4 or 5 of you.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.      Ann Landers

This is a wonderful definition of love.

Here is a song about how much God loves us.

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2024 goals: monthly check-in

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

When someone is working on making a change in their behavior, it is important for the goals to be measurable. I have some of my goals listed on my monthly goals chart.

Monthly goals chart

I am tracking if I do a Spanish lesson on Duolingo (a free language learning app), 15 minutes or longer walks, healthy eating and 1/2 hour of chores. I am struggling with eating too many sweets, chips and popcorn. So, I only counted four days of eating healthy. I also recorded four days of spending a half hour or more on chores. I have been refusing to count grocery shopping and wondering how much time I should count for walking to the bank to get quarters for doing laundry. I did pretty good on Duo (at least 9 days) and the walking (at least 12 days).

The one that I am most happy about is that I managed to spend less than I earn. I moved into a nicer apartment in fall last year. So, the increase in rent is forcing me to tighten my spending at the grocery store and on my credit card. I doubt that I can do it in February because I am planning to buy a new mattress. My celebratory meal for meeting my budget was today.

Taco salad

I made myself a taco salad.

What are your new year’s resolutions?

How are you doing on them?

I hope to hear from you. I want to encourage you to get back up and dust yourself off and try again.

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Wilma mankiller

Wilma Mankiller (11/18/1945-04/06/2010) was the first woman to be elected principal chief of the Cherokee nation. She worked as a social worker for five years in the 70s. In the early 1980s, she directed the newly created Community Development Department of the Cherokee nation. In 1983, she became the deputy chief and was chief from 1985 to 1995.

The happiest people I’ve ever met, regardless of their profession, their social standing, or their economic status, are people that are fully engaged in the world around them. The most fulfilled people are the ones who get up every morning and stand for something larger than themselves. They are the people who care about others, who will extend a helping hand to someone in need or will speak up about an injustice when they see it.

This is such a good quote that I have nothing to add to it.

The secret of our success is that we never, never give up.

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Future books

What books do you want to read?

I am currently working on a blog entry about Max Lucato. I find his books to be very easy reads that are full of good stories and encouragement. I am also listening to Maya Angelou’s I know Why the Caged Bird Sings. It amazes me how she has lived through a hard childhood but ended up writing autobiographies and poetry.

I am planning on starting a YouTube channel. I want to read some Christian classics, self-help classics, share encouraging quotes and discuss some of my own struggles with depression and life. The books in this picture are Pilgrim‘s Progress and a folk tale about three trees.

I have a small book shelf full of books that I have not read yet. I mostly have non-fiction Christian and self-help.

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Enjoy the small things

The highlight of this week is my Amarylis plant that is now blooming.

Amarylis blooming

I bought it at Walmart before Christmas. It looked like a bulb with a dead sprout that was hardly covered by dirt. I thought it was going to do nothing when I saw no change for weeks. Then a single reddish stem grew.

I watered it periodically. This month, I saw that it was getting ready to bloom. I began checking it everyday when Igot home from work.

While driving home from work today, I started wondering if today was going to be the day. It was! One of the flowers is now blooming while the other one on the opposite side of the stem is not open yet.

The day after I posted this, the second bloom opened up.

What was your day brightener today? Did your pet or a family member meet you at the door? Maybe your spouse cooked a delicious meal. If you seek, you just might find that enjoyable moment in your day.

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Dr Sally Ride

In 1983, Dr Sally Ride (05/26/1951-07/23/2012) became the first American woman to fly in space. She was the third woman in space. After leaving NASA, she was a professor of physics at University of California, San Diego. After retiring from her professorship in 2007, she co-founded O’Shaughnessy. They made entertaining science programs and wrote some books on science for children.

Everywhere I go I meet girls and boys who want to be astronauts and explore space, or they love the ocean and want to be oceanographers, or they love animals and want to be zoologists, or they love designing things and want to be engineers. I want to see those same stars in their eyes in 10 years and know they are on their way.

All adventures, especially into new territory are scary.

Science is fun. Science is curiosity. Science is a process of investigating. It’s posing questions and coming up with a method. It’s delving in.

Each one of us has the potential to be a history-maker.

Young girls need to see role models in whatever career they may choose just so they can picture themselves doing those jobs someday.

Learning to handle both success and failure is a part of life. There will always be moments of disappointment, but it is how you deal with them that defines you.

The path from dreams to success doesn’t always run straight, and that’s okay. Keep believing. Keep going. Keep working.

Don’t let anyone rob you of your imagination, your creativity, or your curiosity. It’s your place in the world; it’s your life.

We should not be afraid of dreaming big, of reaching for the stars. We are capable of achieving extraordinary things.

The unknown is terrifying, but it is also exhilarating. Embrace the fear and use it as a motivation to discover the incredible possibilities that lie ahead.

Success is not about being the best. It’s about finding the joy in what you do and making a positive impact on others.

Failure is not the opposite of success. It is a part of the journey toward success.

To truly make a difference in this world, we must be willing to step outside our comfort zones and take risks.

Dare to dream big, and then work relentlessly to turn those dreams into reality.

When I read these quotes, I thought of my love of science. I remember curiously touching some slime on my stirring rod during my biology lab class. It was the first time and only time that I touched DNA. A few tears dropped from my eyes. I was happy. I don’t know if I will ever work in the sciences but I know that I will continue to read articles and books about science.