Angelou (4/4/1928-5/28/2014) was born as Marguerite Annie Johnson according to Wikipedia. She wrote memoirs and poetry. Her book, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, describes her childhood experiences of racism, poverty and a rape when she was only eight. She stopped talking for five years after the rape. Then, she became pregnant and gave birth to a son at 16 years old. “Yet despite the tragedy and tumult of her own life, she came to embody unconquerable resilience. (The Book of Gutsy Women, Hillary Clinton Chelsea Clinton). ” I am looking forward to listening to Angelou read her own book through Audible. Here is a video of her speaking on YouTube.
She is on my mind because I just got my set of US American Women quarters. She was the first to be featured in the 2022 set.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” I painted this quote on two of my rocks.
“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
“Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.”
I have had this blog since 2018. I started this blog because I wanted to encourage others especially Christians who struggle with mental health issues.
Since I am a Christian who lives with depression, I think I have an interesting perspective in this area.
So my mission for this blog is to offer encouragement to my fellow Christians. I plan to do this by sharing my struggles and successes at times, discussing quotes from famous people, Bible study discussions, listing local resources and educational writing.
I called it Listeninghearts because I want to support and encourage my readers.
Since I have already blogged about my goals for 2024, I will share one that I didn’t mention in my previous post.
I moved into a nicer apartment last year. So, I pay more in rent now. So, I am going back to living on a budget.
I will try to reduce how much that I spend at Walmart. I will try to avoid buying more books or clothes. It is hard to say no when I see a cute short for a cheap price.
I will also be more careful about purchasing stuff on Amazon. Success in this goal will be seeing that I am spending less than I am earning. Then, my checking account will return to growing slowly until I transfer money into savings. I want my money to earn some interest or dividends too.
With this year just beginning, we all need courage to get through this year. According to Oxford languages, courage is “the ability to do something that frightens one” or “strength in the face of pain or grief.” Here are some quotes about courage.
“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill
This quote makes me think of persistence in the face of failure. Failure will encourage any of us to question ourselves. This is especially true if we already doubt ourselves. So, I agree that managing to keep trying after failing is a sign of courage.
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.’ Winston Churchill
I admire a co-worker of mine for her ability to stand up for herself. Another co-worker has been staring at her. So, she has spoken to management and is now trying to ignore him.
The second part of this quote makes me think of when a person is receiving negative feedback. I want to argue or defend myself and worry that the speaker thinks that I am a bad employee or person. So, I believe that being able to hear negative feedback and learn from it takes a lot of courage.
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,’I will try again tomorrow.'” Mary Ann Radmacher
“Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.” Tom Krause
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ …You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) You Learn by Living, 1960
Roosevelt shared how to build up courage in this quote. I remember being so afraid of driving that I waited until I was 30 or older. I am still scared of driving but I now have enough courage to drive except on highly trafficked streets. I don’t know if I will ever get brave enough to drive on a busy street.
Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.” Maya Angelou
Here is an article about courage. Chris Drew wrote about the six types of courage and gave some examples of each. He also makes sure to mention that socially anxious people may need courage to do things that people without social anxiety may take for granted.
What areas have you shown courage? Small acts of courage still count.
What areas do you want to improve your ability to act in the face of fear?
Do you have an improvement plan? If yes, what is it?
I may want to steal it if I think it will help me to get braver about standing up for myself at work or maybe even becoming a team leader some day.
Ever since 2020, I have felt like every year is weird. One challenge that I have is my huge heart. When I read about people dying, I imagine what it must be like to be them. When the Ukraine-Russia war started, I imagined the fear and anger of the people. Now, I contemplate the struggles of the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip. So, I have to limit my news reading and listening at times in order to keep me from feeling overwhelmed. I have no idea how a God that knows all the suffering on our planet and loves all people can deal with it all. Yet, He allows it to continue. I hope He explains things to me when I get to heaven. I have asked why so many times in my prayers but He chooses to not answer me.
Another challenge for me is my negative thinking patterns. I find that when I make mistakes repeatedly I beat myself up mentally. But I will make mistakes when I work on learning something new. I posted a collection of quotes about making errors and learning from them a few days ago. I might post a quote from this at work in order to remind me to learn from mistakes and keep practicing the new skill.
I am very good at procrastinating and being lazy too. I was planning a special meal today but I got up too late to cook it since it is a slow cooker recipe. I enjoy reading books and sleeping very much. My brain loves to roam around as I fall asleep. So, I struggle to keep up on household chores and other adult responsibilities. My goal is to do a half hour of chores most days of the week in 2024. I also want to walk 15 minutes for most days in a week. My doctor recommended that I do this to help improve my health. It seemed like such a small thing which made me add it to my list of resolutions.
I’d make a great cat.
I love to eat sweets way too much. Since diabetes runs in my family, I know that I need to watch how much I eat and eat healthier in the new year. My plan is to eat more vegetables and fruits and watch serving sizes.
What are your challenges and plans to work on them during this new year?
“When you fail you learn from the mistakes you made, and it motivates you to work even harder.” Natalie Gulbis
“I really think a champion is defined not by their wins but how they can recover when they fall.’ Serena Williams
“Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.” Oprah Winfrey
Winfrey had a tough childhood but became a famous talk show host. She seems to be a compassionate, honest woman and good listener.
“I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” Michael Jordan
“Failure is a part of the process. You just learn to pick yourself back up.” Michelle Obama
“We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes-understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.” Arianna Huffington
“Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.” John F Kennedy
“The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried. Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.” Roy T Bennett
“I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” Thomas Edison
People are not remembered by how few times they fail, but by how often they succeed. Every wrong step is another step forward. Thomas Edison
John Wayne’s book of American Grit states that 1,093 patents came from his workshop!
“A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” John C Maxwell
“You mustn’t confuse a single failure with a final defeat.” F Scott Fitzgerald
“Don’t be afraid to fail. It’s not the end of the world, and in many ways, it’s the first step toward learning something and getting better at it.”Jon Hamm
“School has conditioned us to avoid mistakes-and punishes students for making them. In the real world, I’ve learned that mistakes-if acknowledged and evaluated and used as a tool to make better decisions in the future-are invaluable. A little fear can be a healthy thing, but we shouldn’t live in fear of making mistakes. Mistakes are good things, if we find the lesson in every failure.” Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
You can only really learn from failure…To win you need to fail, and fail hard. Aisha Tyler
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Calvin Coolidge
I need to keep all of these in mind since I tend to beat myself up every time I make a mistake.
In high school, I was pro-life. I saw the world as black and white. It was clear what was right and what was wrong. At that time, I didn’t understand what the individual parties stood for.
I went to college thanks to grants from the US government. I remember that my college newspaper quoted one of my professors as saying that grant recipients didn’t deserve to attend. I also had to work during school as part of federal work study. It was a small amount of hours but it kept me from ever being able to see any professors during office hours. I always had a class or work during those hours. I also chose not to do any kind of internship due to the grant responsibilities and finances. I sometimes wonder if I would have found a job using my degree if I had more flexibility to do an internship.
When I entered college, I believed that I was the dumbest person on Earth. My parents and classmates repeatedly told me that I was stupid. My step-father told me that I had no common sense and was too dumb to be a doctor. He claimed that college graduates were a dime a dozen. During college, I learned that I wasn’t as dumb as I thought. I am not sure if I ever saw myself as smart at the time. The medical students used to come over to my classroom and tell us how they didn’t have to study until medical school. I had to study in elementary school. I also learned that I freeze up in emergencies. So, I never tried medical school.
After college, I looked for a job using my degree. But, I didn’t try real hard. I think my lack of belief in my own smarts and hatred for the constant rejections that are involved in job seeking dragged me down. I ended up working in retail for a few decades. This experience taught me the hardships that people can struggle with. I met a pharmacy technician who had used up all of her lifetime limits on her health insurance. I saw a shift supervisor use a food stamp card. When my employer cut my hours, I used food stamps. I cried while talking to the interviewer for heat assistance. I believed that our government was having trouble paying bills and here I was adding to them. I started to feel like Republicans hated me because I needed help. I considered rent assistance but never applied because I could afford a crappy apartment. It seemed like Republicans thought the US was a meritocracy. So, I developed a Democratic leaning to my political views.
I ended up getting a job at Walmart for 7.25 an hour. I asked if they recognized previous retail experience but he said “No. We don’t do that.” I sat there looking at him and the computer screen and finally agreed to take the job. So, I became a pharmacy cashier. I wanted to get promoted to pharmacy technician but I cry when I stress out. So, I cried my way out of ever being promoted just like I had done in past jobs. Walmart increased their starting wage until I got off food stamps and Obamacare.
At that time, I was still independent with Democratic leanings. I thought we needed the Republicans to keep us bleeding heart liberals from spending too much money. The parties balanced each other out.
Then, the Republicans started fighting to repeal Obamacare. I was thankful that my government helped me through college and with healthcare for a year or two until Walmart took over. The constant talk of repealing Obamacare with no replacement proposal angered me. I wanted to strengthen it and see if we could avoid universal healthcare.
Then Trump came out of nowhere to run for President. I heard that he hired a known co artist couple to run his Trump University before the election. So, I thought he could never win and voted for a third party candidate. Hilary Clinton was involved in a pay for influence scheme near the end of her husband’s presidency. I hate how money can get you out of a lot of troubles and increase your influence on our politicians. So, I was unhappy with Clinton and couldn’t bring myself to vote for her. Then, Trump won! It was the first time that I was ever scared about my nation’s safety. I remembered some people feeling that way when Obama became President. But, I never understood why they were afraid. So, I did the best that I could to live with Trump as my President. We all know that our candidate won’t always win. Then, he expanded Obama’s policy of breaking up families at the border. While I learned from the press that the length of time we can hold an adult is different than how long we can hold a minor, I was angry to see families being broken up. I joined a local protest.
I also protested with Black Lives Matter in my city. I refused to go to Milwaukee and protest because I didn’t trust them not to riot. I explained to a press person that I wanted “justice for all.”
I now support universal healthcare which makes me more extreme than Biden in this country.
In summary, I have concluded that we are not a meritocracy. While hard work and skills can get many people ahead, it leaves plenty of us behind. Hence I want the government to provide a safety net especially for the disabled and elderly. Then, I hope others in society will help others to find where they can make a positive contribution to society. I work in a factory now where I don’t have to worry about being yelled at. I still cry at times but less often than I did in retail.
The second thing that I have learned is that no political issue is simple. Abortion is not simply wrong or right. It involves raped people and people who can’t afford children. It is going to be a hard decision to make at the individual and societal level. I think we need to come up with a cut off time that we can agree on and only allow abortion after that time if medically necessary. Most abortions are early in the pregnancy where the risk is lowest.
My hope for the future is that we can remember that we all love the US. No matter what party a person identifies with, we all want what is best for the nation. We just disagree on what that is.
I have a tradition of making an ornament at the end of each year. I have one side for news events and one side for things in my own life. A few years past, I had a side with hopes for the new year and a side for personal life. Current events were added during the pandemic since the news had a huge impact on my life.
Here is the current events side of this year’s ornament.
I have prayed for world peace just as I suspect most everyone else has too. I have tried to pray for everyone involved but I can’t seem to pray for Hamas or the people in Russia who are leading the war effort. Every time I try, I end up asking God to change their minds and/or hearts. That feels like a prayer against them rather than for them. While I know what outcome I want, I don’t know God’s will. My dream outcome would be Ukraine kicking Russia back to their own country and Israel destroying Hamas with very few civilian deaths. Yet, I can’t see how Israel can fight in such a small densely populated area with lots of poverty. Since Hamas controlled the area, they were able to put their meeting areas, weapons stashes and hide outs anywhere in the Gaza strip. I just saw a video of people running after a relief truck. Palestinians are suffering and dying. How can we stop it? I want Palestinians to survive and be ruled by a non-terrorist organization that they support.
Here is my personal life side.
My cat, Puffers, died in February and I moved into a nicer apartment in August. I had hoped to move into a nicer apartment sometime this year. So, I feel like this year is close to what I had hoped for at this time last year.
I had hoped I’d eat healthier, exercise more and lose weight. I have made some progress on my Spanish studies on Duolingo but I haven’t tried speaking it to others yet. I know some co-workers who speak Spanish.
What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
There are so many people that I admire. I will group the people in my listing.
People who commit their life to a bigger cause. There are so many occupations in our society that keep our community alive. Police officers who come running in times of crises. We read the stories of mass shootings that end with the shooter being shot by police. Paramedics and fire fighters are heroes. Doctors. Nurses. Chaplains. Pastors. Scientists who spend a lifetime studying and experimenting just to learn new things. There are others who are less obvious but still manage to impact their communities for the better. Here is a picture of me dressed as a cop. I enjoy dressing as an occupation that is a hero for Halloween. I suspect that this is as close as I can to being a hero.
Everyday heroes. A local radio station uses this phrase to describe people who save a life with little to no training. They share a story on Thursdays. Sometimes, they do CPR or pull someone out of a car accident. I can’t think clearly when in a crisis. So, I admire those who can stay calm under stress.
People who sacrifice for others. When I worked in a drug store, I had a co-worker who worked at the drug store and a factory. She had previously been on disability but she refused to go back on it like her doctor wanted her to. She had a daughter with bi-polar. She worked way harder than she ever should in order to pay her daughter’s bills. I admired that.
Women who can stand up for themselves. I have a strong aversion to confrontation. So, I never asked for a pay raise until this year. I tend to stumble over my words when I ask for anything from my boss. I have a co-worker who is our painter in the factory. She has this ability to stand up for herself. I admire that.
