Today is Thanksgiving Thursday. I am thankful for my family.
Hands holding each other
My sister C helped me get the hang of riding the bus when I moved to Waukesha, Wisconsin. She invited me over weekly for yummy food and laundry for a long time. She also helped me in some other ways that I don’t want to name here.
My dad E taught me to drive. He was very patient and calm the whole time. Since I have always been scared of driving, this was a great gift. He helped me with getting my first and second car. He still checks in to see how my car is doing.
My mom S helped me with completing college applications a few decades ago. She bought my textbooks some years. Since I was a biology major, they were very expensive sometimes.
I suspect that you, like me, sometimes feel like a nobody. You see a long list of negative traits with little to no positive traits. Here is a rather ugly rock. Is this what you feel like?
Yet, God says that He made us in His image. You and I are unique.
Inside that ugly rock are crystals. Like this rock, God made you with His image inside you.
I have decided to post my list of things that I thankful for here on Thursdays. I hope this will help me to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
I am thankful for the generosity of my city, Waukesha. When local businesses have a fundraiser for the parade victims, residents line up to participate. The Christmas ornaments are being sold and all the proceeds are going to the Waukesha community fund.
I am also thankful that my planned layoff has been pushed back to April.
Please share what you are thankful for in the comments.
I wrote goals in 2020 and 2021. Then Covid-19 came to town. I tossed out all of 2020’s goals and replaced them with a goal to stay sane. In 2021, I had a work goal to learn new skills including soldering. But, my employer never resumed training due to Covid-19. Now, I don’t think Covid-19 will end in 2022. I believe that the pandemic will last all year.
This year I have a list of goals. Some are very vague such as get a new job due to my upcoming lay off. Yet, others are more detailed such as my plan to post two times a week on this website. Thursdays will be thanksgiving Thursdays while Fridays will be feel good Friday. Once a month, I will share quotes from a book that I have read. The book may be a Bible study book, Christian non-fiction or a self-help book.
My sister C started posting monthly goals on Facebook. She has been doing a few years. I started sharing monthly goals with her. I find that the yearly goals can guide my monthly goals. I think this idea can help you and me to be more flexible as our world keeps rapidly changing. It is also easier to wrap my mind around a month rather than a year.
What are your goals for the year? What books do you plan to read?
On November 21st, a man drove a red SUV into people marching in our Christmas parade. Six people died because of this action. Here are a collection of pictures of my community’s response to this tragedy.
At first, main street where this took place had press everywhere.
Press along main street after the Christmas parade tragedyPress along main street after the Christmas parade tragedy
While looking at the press along the street, I noticed and orange marks on the street. I suspected they were evidence markings.
Colored marks on street the Christmas parade tragedy
As time went by, items began showing up at Veteran’s Park where the city invited people to leave memorial items.
Local businesses began posting messages of support.
Waukesha strong decorations in downtown WaukeshaA memorial tree was placed at Veteran’s Park.
The Christmas parade memorial was decommissioned and put into storage earlier this week (Wednesday morning). Now a few more items have appeared.
Now empty veteran’s Park sundial. The spot where the memorial Christmas tree used to stand.
Usually, I feel hope for the new year. But, this year I don’t feel any hope or excitement for the new year. Pandemic is continuing while I wait for Covid-19 test results just like I did in January 2021. My nation, USA, feels more divided than ever. My employer will be laying me off in February or March. I am still waiting for my official 60 day notice as required by Wisconsin.
Here is my meme attempt about 2022
So, I am reminding myself that Jesus will be my shepherd just like he has done in the past. My family, friends and church will be there for me too if I reach out and ask. (I struggle with this part.)
I struggle with asking for help from my family, friends and church.
Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe The World is by Admiral William H. McRaven. He wrote the book as an expansion on a speech given to the graduating class of 2014 at the University of Texas.
“They all understood that life is hard and that sometimes there is a little you can do to affect the outcome of your day. In battle soldiers die, families grieve, your days are long and filled with anxious moments. You search for something that can give you solace, that can motivate you to begin your day, that can be a sense of pride in an oftentimes ugly world. (Pg 9)’
A great many therapists will suggest selecting one small thing that can make your life better. My city, Waukesha,Wisconsin, had six people die due to a man driving a red SUV into our Christmas parade. I want to help but can’t donate blood since I gave on the eighteenth. I am concerned about my upcoming layoff which is limiting my willingness to donate money. Yet, I love painting rocks. While I am not any good at it, I made six rocks. One for each victim as my way of mourning their deaths and the changes to parade preparations.
What is one simple thing you can do to make your life or community better?
“It is easy to blame your lot in life on some outside force, to stop trying because you believe fate is against you. It is easy to think that where you were raised, how your parents treated you, or what school you went to is all that determines your future. Nothing could be further than the truth. The common people and the great men and women are all defined by how they deal with life’s unfairness; Helen Keller, Nelson Mandela, Stephen Hawking, Malala Yousafzai and Moki Martin (pg. 42.)”
Our past can add challenges to our endeavor to succeed in life, it can’t keep us from success. Sometimes, we have to change our goals in response to our limitations.
I dreamed of becoming a doctor when I was in high school and college. Then I learned that I freeze in emergency situations. I am now hoping I can find a way to help others through this blog. My desire to help others was my main reason for wanting to be a doctor. Now, it is my main reason for blogging and praying for others.
What are your dreams? If they are not reachable, what are your top three reasons for wanting this dream? Is there another goal that can help you to achieve this desire?
“Life is a struggle and the potential for failure is ever present, but those who live in fear of failure, or hardship, or embarrassment will never achieve their potential. Without pushing your limits, without occasionally sliding down the rope headfirst, without daring greatly you will never know what is truly possible in life. (Pg.63)”
I am not a risk taker. Yet, I am risking a failure in my writing and blogging dream by having this blog. Why? I know that if I don’t try I will always wonder if I could have succeeded.
What is one thing that you can do to work on a goal or dream?
In March of 2020, my employer gave us essential employee letters to carry with us as we commuted to and from work. My mom worked at Walmart while my sister worked in a tax office. I learned that we are all essential to each other, our communities, families and friends regardless of our jobs.
As the pandemic continued, I discovered a fear of hurting people by breathing near them. Sometimes, I would hold my breath when I came close to people. I realized that my fear of driving is because of my fear of scaring, hurting or killing another person. Driving is probably the situation where this most likely.
In January 2021, I had Covid-19. The fear of hurting someone became much stronger. During the ten day self isolation, I waited until my local businesses closed for the night and slipped out to drop my rent check in the mail drop box and retrieve some toilet paper from my car trunk. As I was entering the parking garage, I heard a human. Yes, that is how my brain registered it. I froze in fear for a few seconds but never saw anyone. I managed to return home without seeing a person. Afterwards, I found myself wondering what I would have done it I has seen someone. Run away probably while crying. Would I have said COVID positive? I have no idea. That fear of breathing near others came up at work and the parking garage. I joked to myself that it was PTSD like. I learned how strong my fear can be and my need to be around people. I now enjoy sitting where I can hear people laughing and talking. I never used to do that. I am an introvert who loves to stay home alone but not for ten days.
On the last day of self isolation, I had to cancel an eye surgeon appointment. When I went to the re-scheduled appointment, I complained about having to cancel in order to finish the self isolation. The lady checking temperatures thanked me for doing that. In my head, I replied that it had nothing to do with her. Then, I mentally listed my neighbors, co-workers and those I might have come into contact with as people I was protecting from me. Then, I realized that she was probably in that last group. I still remember her words. This reinforced my belief that words matter.
In April and May, I received the Pfizer vaccine. The first dose made me tired and chilly while at work. The second dose made me dizzy for a day. The second day, I felt off for a day. In December, I got a booster shot and slept the next day away. The dizziness discouraged me from wanting to move around my two room apartment.
Everyone of us has made sacrifices to help others such as staying home while infected, quarantining, vaccines and wearing masks. Thank you to every person who has helped in the medical community and others who have made these sacrifices.
What have you sacrificed to help others during this pandemic? What have you learned from this pandemic?
I love to read and collect quotes. Here are some quotes from Holy Sweat by Tim Hansel.
“For life is a mystery to be lived out rather than a problem to be solved.” He states that an anonymous writer wrote this (pg 23).
“In fact, the only real difference between the sacred and the secular is that the secular doesn’t know it’s sacred yet. (pg. 29)
“The shocking message of the Bible continues to be that God has chosen the least suspecting of all vessels to do his greatest work. What you are at this particular moment in your life is irrelevant-your nationality, your education, your personality, or how you are physically, spiritually, and otherwise. Why you are is likewise irrelevant. What counts most is what and who you are willing to become. (pg.31)”
“In a very real sense not one of us is qualified, but it seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do His work, to bear His glory. If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualifications, then there’s no danger that we will confuse God’s work with our own or God’s glory with our own.” (pg. 53)
“Holiness is not a state to be attained but a never-ending process–the core of which is the quality of our continually growing relationship with and through Christ. Holiness is not a place, a thing, or a building. Holiness is in the journey, the process, a gift.” (pg. 60)
“One of the things we need to remember constantly is that we can love other people only in direct proportion to the way we love ourselves.” (pg. 100)
“Communion, we must remember, is made up of broken bread and crushed grapes. So, it is in our brokenness and our imperfections, that we are called to come together and help each other be whole-the best we can be.” (pg. 106)
“The Christian life is not difficult. It’s downtown impossible. It’s designed that way. If we could do it through achievements, we wouldn’t need the grace of God.” (pg. 140)
I skipped over quotes by other people. I think this book contains some very good quotes from other people too.
I am an avid reader of self-help books. I recommend that you check and see if the author is a professional in the field such as a psychiatrist, therapist or workshop leader. Also, keep in mind that the strategies in the book are suggestions. Try them out and don’t kick yourself if they don’t work for you. I think God gave us a brain which allows us to observe and study what works for others.
1. The Feeling Good Handbook. I have read this book a couple of times through. If you have had a therapist use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with you, then this book will be very familiar to you. I think a psychologist from my college days introduced this book to me as part of my therapy with him. He shares a variety of thinking techniques for dealing with depression and anxiety. Dr. Burns shares a list of thoughts that a person can use to monitor his/her thinking. Then he shares a variety of thinking techniques that a person can use to correct his/her thinking. Any book by Dr. David D Burns is a great read that will give you a lot of techniques to try out.
2. Self-Assertion for Women. This book is by Pamela E. Butler and contains a discussion of why it is harder for women than men to be assertive in relating to others. You may find this book dated but it has some good ideas on how to practice self-assertion. This book offers a variety of ways to speak up for one’s self or the option of not speaking up. It really should be something that you can choose whether or not to speak up for yourself rather than allowing your past to make the decision for you.
3. Your Perfect Right. This book by Robert E. Alberti, Ph.D. and Michael L. Emmons, Ph.D. teaches that everyone has a right to be heard. I really appreciated the authors’ willingness to recommend counseling if the reader felt the need for it. This book also shares how to express one’s feelings to others. I don’t think many people think of that as assertiveness but it is.
4. When Words are Not Enough. This book helped me to see my need for medication and better understand my depression better. Here is a quote that blew me away because it described my sleeping problems. “The classic depressive sleep pattern is called early morning wakening, characterized by waking somewhere between 2 or 3 am and 5 am, usually without falling back to sleep.” That is an exact description of the sleep pattern that I had during my depression.
5. Beyond Codependency and Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps by Melody Beattie. She writes about the struggles that people who are close to a person who is addicted goes through. Just as an addict needs to go get help from others, many times the loved ones of that addict needs help too. They have adapted their behaviors to live with the addict. So, now they need to re-learn how to relate to the addict in recovery and others. Any book from Hazelden is a great book to read.
“But it isn’t our job to take care of others-to take care of their feelings, thoughts, decisions, growth, and responsibilities. It is our job to do that for ourselves.” (Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps, Pg. 24) Since I blamed myself for when my step-father got mad at me, this quote earned an underline in my copy of this book. “When I feel deprived, unloved, uncared for, abandoned, and left out of life, I can practice gratitude. ” (Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps, pg. 51)
6. Narcotics Anonymous. I have read the Alcoholics Anonymous book (The big book) and this one. I felt like the AA book was kind of harsh in how it dealt with addiction. I found this book to be gentler. So, I prefer it. Since these books are based on the twelve steps, they focus a lot on a higher power like the books that I named in the previous paragraph.
