Tag: self forgiveness

Since I have always liked his quote about “looking for the helpers,” I bought this book from a friends of the library sale.

“Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.” (Page 3)

Even though I am 50 years old, I still wonder what I will do when I grow up. I dream of becoming a write/blogger as a side income. Other times, I think about making YouTube videos. But, data analysis, robotics and AI sounds like an interesting field to study and work in. Oh, did I mention human genetics especially gene editing. Too many ideas.

“Some days, doing ‘the best we can’t may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn’t perfect-on any front- and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.” (Page 4)

When my depression was bad, I begged God for the energy to get through the day every day. I had no energy to do anything outside of work. This quote is a reminder to me and anyone else who needs it that there will be days like that. Let’s remember to forgive ourselves and others when we can’t seem to get much done.

“There’s no ‘should’ or ‘should not’ when it comes to having feelings. They’re part of who we are and their origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier to make constructive choices about what to do with those feelings.” (Page 20)

I used to call myself a “crybaby” in my own thinking. When I started therapy, my therapist encouraged me to accept my emotions. I can only manage my emotions if I have accepted my emotions and behaviors. Please understand that I am not saying that all behaviors and emotions are okay. If the behavior or thought doesn’t hurt someone else or violate God’s law, then it is best for me to accept it. This helped me to focus on talking myself into stopping crying rather than obsessing on whether everyone will think that I am a crybaby.

“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” (Page 53)

This quote reminds me that love is working on maintaining and building a relationship even when I feel angry with him/her. I am working on my relationships with my family members and friends.

“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” (Page 79)

The name of this site is Listeninghearts because I have been learning the value of being a listener. I learned about active listening in my studying of addiction counseling. I used to think that I had nothing to offer because I had very little money or material things to donate/use to help others. But, I have been learning that a word of encouragement or a sympathetic ear may be even better than money at times.

“When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong along with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade, and of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.” (Page 95)

When at technical college, I read an example therapy session in the back of our textbook. The therapist told the client that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It was so logical that even my brain couldn’t argue with it. It reminded me of a book that I read in my university days.It was a book on self-esteem. It focused on helping readers to have a more balanced view of themselves. It had me list my positive and negative traits. It is important that you learn your good and bad traits, your passions and learn to accept yourself.

“All of us, at some time or other, need help. Whether we’re giving or receiving help, each one of us has something valuable to bring to this world. That’s one of the things that connects us as neighbors- in our own way, each one of us is a giver and a receiver.” (Page 136)

“As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else- or ever will have-something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.” (Page 137)