In March of 2020, my employer gave us essential employee letters to carry with us as we commuted to and from work. My mom worked at Walmart while my sister worked in a tax office. I learned that we are all essential to each other, our communities, families and friends regardless of our jobs.
As the pandemic continued, I discovered a fear of hurting people by breathing near them. Sometimes, I would hold my breath when I came close to people. I realized that my fear of driving is because of my fear of scaring, hurting or killing another person. Driving is probably the situation where this most likely.
In January 2021, I had Covid-19. The fear of hurting someone became much stronger. During the ten day self isolation, I waited until my local businesses closed for the night and slipped out to drop my rent check in the mail drop box and retrieve some toilet paper from my car trunk. As I was entering the parking garage, I heard a human. Yes, that is how my brain registered it. I froze in fear for a few seconds but never saw anyone. I managed to return home without seeing a person. Afterwards, I found myself wondering what I would have done it I has seen someone. Run away probably while crying. Would I have said COVID positive? I have no idea. That fear of breathing near others came up at work and the parking garage. I joked to myself that it was PTSD like. I learned how strong my fear can be and my need to be around people. I now enjoy sitting where I can hear people laughing and talking. I never used to do that. I am an introvert who loves to stay home alone but not for ten days.
On the last day of self isolation, I had to cancel an eye surgeon appointment. When I went to the re-scheduled appointment, I complained about having to cancel in order to finish the self isolation. The lady checking temperatures thanked me for doing that. In my head, I replied that it had nothing to do with her. Then, I mentally listed my neighbors, co-workers and those I might have come into contact with as people I was protecting from me. Then, I realized that she was probably in that last group. I still remember her words. This reinforced my belief that words matter.
In April and May, I received the Pfizer vaccine. The first dose made me tired and chilly while at work. The second dose made me dizzy for a day. The second day, I felt off for a day. In December, I got a booster shot and slept the next day away. The dizziness discouraged me from wanting to move around my two room apartment.
Everyone of us has made sacrifices to help others such as staying home while infected, quarantining, vaccines and wearing masks. Thank you to every person who has helped in the medical community and others who have made these sacrifices.
What have you sacrificed to help others during this pandemic? What have you learned from this pandemic?