What advice would you give to your teenage self?
I walk up to the stable where I grew up and find the younger me playing in the yard.
Me: Hi Tracy. I am you as an adult.
Teen me keeps her distance from me: Yeah right.
Me: It’s true. I just want you to know that you will live to be 51 years old like I am now.
Teen me: But, God has called me. I hope He wants me to save people’s lives like a doctor or paramedic. If I died in order to save another, I’d be a hero…
Me: I know that you dream of being a missionary doctor and risking your life to serve God and help others. I want you to know that you are smart.
Teen me: But, Bruce said that I am too stupid to be a doctor. (Tears start to leak from her eyes.)
Me: He was mad and knew that it would hurt you. But, he is wrong. You are a smart person and don’t believe Bruce. You study hard and keep getting good grades. I am proud of you.
{I think that is the first time that I told myself that I am proud of my hard work and smarts.}
Me: Also, you are not responsible for how Bruce responds to you.
Teen me: He is the authority. So, he must be right and I am wrong.
Me: No. He has issues of his own to deal with that pushes him to mistreat you.
Teen me: Mistreat?
Me: Yes. It is normal for a child to respond slowly when trying to understand where to look for something. He gets mad because of that delay at times. That is not right.
Teen me stands there silently with a very confused expression.
Me: You will be able to move away and start your own life. Also, don’t give up. Keep doing your best.
This is similar to what I call pretend therapy. I write the client’s statement. Then, I imagine myself in the role of the therapist and write out that response. As I write out the exchange, I sometimes say something in the role of therapist that I really needed to hear/read. It also forces me to take a more empathetic view of myself just as I would a client or friend.