Author: admin

Posted on

I am unemployed

I hate being unemployed. My Google maps app is full of manufacturing companies in Waukesha, Wisconsin. My phone’s predictive typing anticipates my past employers’ names.

One day, I was on hold to asked my former employer’s HR a question and received two phone calls. I never knew I could take a call while on a call on my landline. I have scheduled phone calls and on site visits a day later. It feels strange to schedule things at an instant. No working around a work schedule. Instead, I have to work around other calls and visits.

I hate the overthinking of every interview. Why did I say that? Why was I slouching sideways? Why do I stare at the ground when thinking?

I have only just begun week two! Two onsite interviews. Three temping agencies sharing my resume with clients. Posted resumes to Indeed, LinkedIn and Job Centers of Wisconsin.

As you can expect, my mood has been up and down too. A few sleepless nights near the end of the week. Hope at the start of the week.

I am spending more time with my friend, painting rocks and taking walks. I am attempting to return to reading a devotional and a Chicken Soup book. I have started leaving my painted rocks around town in the hopes that someone will smile when he/she finds it.

My painted rocks

Are there any other unemployed people working as a job seeker? What methods are you using to cope with the stress?

Posted on

Support Ukraine event at St Luke’s

My painted rocks

I painted some rocks blue and yellow to show my support of Ukraine. Since Sophia has a Support Ukraine event at my church, St Luke’s I put my rocks near the church. I hope they make someone smile.

The event had a bake sale, silent auction, music and some dancing. I bought me some sweets and two sunflower pins.

Sunflower pins

During the program, I googled sunflowers and Ukraine. I discovered that sun flowers are the national flower of Ukraine. The article also described how they planted sun flowers at Chernobyl.

I tried to take some pictures but it was too dark and far from my seat to get good pictures.

Posted on

God doesn’t want you to be alone

I can’t say wether God wants you to get married or not. But, He wants you to have people in your life who will encourage you when things get tough.

Jesus called the disciples to accompany Him. Simon and Andrew were brothers just like John and James, sons of Zebedee. I think Jesus knew that living with family members nearby to help and support His disciples would be important to His students. Later, Jesus sent the disciples out in pairs to share the good news.  After Jesus died, the apostles still traveled in pairs. In the fourth chapter of Acts, Peter and John preached together and were arrested together, When the apostles were released, they gathered together and prayed. Chapter six describes the selection of deacons to serve widows of the Church. God cares for His people through the community of God.

Since I hate getting up in the morning on the weekend, I keep skipping church. So, this article needs to be preached to me more to me than probably the two or three people who will read it.

God, thank You for my friends. I met most of them at work or church. Like my family members, my three friends share their life with me and I share mine with them. I know from reading how Jesus invited His disciples to live with Him that this is what you desire for me. Since I am an introvert, I limit my friends to small circle of close friends. Thank You for understanding my need for solitude to relax, read interesting news and do arts and crafts. Amen.

Posted on

Charles Spurgeon had depression

Charles Surgeon was a famous English Baptist preacher. He preached at Metropolitan Tabernacle, founded Spurgeon’s College and started the Stockwell Orphanage. (1)

In 1856, a mass casualty event happened to him as he preached. He was preaching at Surrey Gardens Music Hall in London. The building was filled to overflowing. As he finished a prayer, a person in the crowd shouted, “Fire. The galleries are giving way!” Seven people died in the stampede while 28 we’re injured enough to be in critical condition. He struggled with this experience for a long time afterwards. (2)

Here are some quotes from Spurgeon about his experience of depression and other things.

1. I am the subject of depression so fearful that I hope none of you ever get to such extremes of wretchedness as I go to. But I always get back again by this—I know that I trust Christ. I have no reliance but in him, and if he falls, I shall fall with him. But if he does not, I shall not. I was amazed by how much depression effects every part of my life. I had trouble sleeping, very terrible attention span and crying all of the time. I hung on to Christ and begged for the strength to get through each day.

2. I often feel very grateful to God that I have undergone fearful depression. I know the borders of despair and the horrible brink of that gulf of darkness into which my feet have almost gone. But hundreds of times I have been able to give a helpful grip to brethren and sisters who have come into that same condition, which grip I could never have given if I had not known their deep despondency. This reminds me of the phrase “blessed to be a blessing.” Sometimes, God allows us to experience suffering so that we may reach out to others in similar circumstances.

Our sorrows are all, like ourselves, mortal…They come, but blessed be God, they also go. We suffer today, but we shall rejoice tomorrow. This quote is similar to the line from alcoholics anonymous which says “This too shall pass.” So, this is a great reminder that no matter how bad something is, it will end.

There is no learning sympathy except by suffering. It cannot be studied from a book, it must be written on the heart. I would much rather learn something from a book than through suffering. Yet, God uses our experiences to teach and prepare us for the future. Always work to learn from your mistakes and experiences. Please understand, I am not saying that God is beating you up to teach you something. I am saying that He will find a way to use that horrible experience without being the one to cause it.

Our infirmities become the black velvet on which the diamond of God’s love glitters all the more brightly.

I believe the holier a man becomes, the more he mourns over the unholiness which remains in him.

There is no secret of my heart which I would not pour into [the Lord’s] ear. There is no wish that might be deemed foolish or ambitious by others, which I would not communicate to him. God is a great listener. Maybe God’s choice not to speak to me much makes it easier to pour my heart out to him. It also helps that I know that He desires this.

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow-only today of its strength.”

Posted on

Thanks for friends, co-workers and my health

This Thanksgiving post will be longer than usual because I missed last Thursday. So, I have combined last week and this week’s post.

Last weekend, I went out with a friend for breakfast. We discussed some female subjects that I am unwilling to share with others. It is nice to be able to talk about the private parts of our lives with friends. We also talked about politics. We are on opposite sides of the political parties. It was a nice reminder that we can disagree on politics and still be friends.

Many of my co-workers have helped me to learn my job. Earlier this month, one of my co-worker’s work contact ended. He taught me most of what I do in my current department and worked hard to coordinate the work of some other co-workers.

This week, I saw a post in one of my Facebook groups. The poster said that he/she had ran out of family and medical leave. She he/she lost his/her job. The comments section was full of other people facing similar situations. Since the group is for Covid-19 survivors, I knew that the poster was suffering with long hauler symptoms. I am thankful that my Covid-19 didn’t lead to long-term symptoms.

Posted on

Quotes from hymns and songs

I love to use the words of songs as prayers and worship.

1. “Open your heart! Show mercy to all those in fear. We are called to be hope for the hopeless so hatred and blindness will be no more.” We are called (hymn 720 in Evangelical Lutheran Worship.) The refrain says, “We are called to act with justice, we are called to love tenderly; we are called to serve one another, to walk humbly with God.”

God, please guide me as I look for opportunities to love others, stand up for justice and serve my fellow man as this song says that You have called me to do.

This song reminds me of a Bible verse.

2. “Lord, use our voices, Lord, use our hands, Lord, use our lives, …All that we have, all that we are, all that we hope to be, we give to you…” We are an offering (692 in ELW)

I posted these words on the wall near my bed for years. I try to offer all of this to God but I fall short repeatedly.

3. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.” Create in Me a Clean Heart (185 in ELW)

This song is based on one of the Psalms.

4. “I am weak, and I need Thy strength and power to help me over my weakest hour…

Help me tread in the paths of righteousness; be my aid when Satan and sin oppress. I am putting all my trust in Thee..

I am lost, if you take your hand from me; I am blind, without Thy Light to see.”

The refrain says, “Lead me, guide me along the way; for if You lead me, I cannot stray; Lord, let me walk each day with Thee. Lead me, O Lord lead me.” Lead Me, Guide Me (ELW pg. 768)

5. Will you love the you you hide, if I but call your name? Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same? Will you use the faith you’ve found to reshape the world around, through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Will You Come and Follow Me (ELW 798)

6. When we are tested and wrestle alone, famished for bread when the world offers stone, nourish us, God, by your word and your way, food that sustains us by night and by day.

When in the desert we cry for relief, pleading for paths marked by certain belief, lift us to love you beyond sign and test, trusting your presence, our only true rest.

When we are tempted to barter our souls, reading the truth for the pow’r to control, teach us to worship and praise only you, seeking your will in the work that we do.

When we have struggled and searched through the night, sorting and sifting the wrong from the right, Savior, surround us with circles of care, angels of healing of hope, and of prayer.

When We Are Tested in the ACS page 922.

Posted on

Thank God that Covid-19 numbers are dropping

Wisconsin has been having less than a thousand new cases per day. Our hospital numbers are way down too.

So, my employer is allowing fully vaccinated people to not wear a mask. I enjoy being able to see my co-workers ‘ faces. Breathing is easier without a mask. I am hoping that a new variant doesn’t come or stays away for a long time.

I am hoping to go out to eat with a friend on a weekend soon. I haven’t eaten out since last summer.

What do you plan to do while the Covid-19 numbers are low?

Posted on

How to cope with scary news

War! Maybe it will be world war three. Pandemic! The news is full of scary stuff. Here is some ideas on how to cope.

Limit news viewing The first time that I had to find a way to cope with scary news was 9/11/2001. I was glued to the news. I finally had to go for a walk just to disconnect from the constant news watching. While I wanted to know what was happening, I discovered that I needed to take breaks.

Look for the helpers or heros ‘When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me,”Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”‘ Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers) I have found that focusing on the helpers and heros helps me to feel hopeful. Yesterday, I wrote an article about some of the heros in the Russia Ukraine war. I have also found some stories about people helping. The Rachel Maddow show shared the story of a German offering rides at the border. Uber is offering free rides at the Poland border. People are renting Airbnbs in Ukraine as a way to send money to people dealing with the war.

Find a way to help if possible The previous paragraph mentioned some ways that people have found to help. There are plenty of other ways. Here is a list of charities helping Ukraine. I haven’t found a way for me at this time. I am saving money in prep for my upcoming lay off in May. So, I am limiting my giving to my church. Yet, I think finding a way to help can help with the feelings of helplessness.

Help others to cope This is what I am hoping to do through this post. This can be as simple as allowing someone to talk about their feelings about all of the scary stuff in the news. My dad and I talked for a while about this. It could be encouraging someone at work.

Sense of humor It may seem like laughing at scary news is mean. But, listening to coronavirus parody songs helped me to get through ten days of self isolating due to having Covid-19. I started playing a game of dancing to the songs and seeing how long I could last before I had to stop to cough. It was a fun way to see that the cough was weakening. It also can remind you and me that we are all experiencing similar feelings.

We are all in this together. We may only be watching but we are still feeling strong emotions in response to it.

Posted on

Thank God for heros

Russia invaded Ukraine on Thursday. I thought they’d fall quickly. Yet, Russia has not reached Kyiv.

President Zelensky is still in Kyiv fighting for his country. A beer company is handing out empty bottles for people to make Molotov cocktails. A road company is removing street signs to confuse the Russians. Regular citizens are learning to shoot guns. All of these people are heros.

Many Russians are protesting in 50 different cities. The police are arresting people as quick as they can when they spot protesting. 5,800 people have been arrested.

My prayer for today. God, my heart aches for the people of Ukraine. Many are fighting for their homeland while others are attempting to flee. Please be with them. I can’t imagine what they are going through. Yet, I know that You know their fears, hopes and plans. Hear their prayers.

Many of the Russian people don’t want this war. I suspect some of their soldiers don’t want to wage this war but must obey orders.

Please guide our world leaders. Amen.