“Be kind to yourself!” and “self compassion” are phrases that we all have heard. I think we all know that we need to do this.
My former therapist told me “love myself as I love others” or something like that. Many of us treat ourselves with less compassion than we ever would a friend or loved one. Hence one trick is to talk to yourself in the way that you would with a friend. I modified this trick and started doing “fake therapy.” I start out as the client and write my thoughts out. Then, I shift over to being the therapist and write out how I’d respond to the client. I find that this activity helps me to shift from inside myself to what I’d be more likely to say to a friend or client.
How do you treat yourself as a friend?
Accepting oneself does not preclude an attempt to become better.    Flannery O’Connor
“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.” Donna Roberts
I tried to Google Donna Roberts but I found a variety of different people. I have no idea who this Roberts is. This reminded me of when I visited my great aunt at a nursing home with my dad. I doubt that she could remember who we were due to scar tissue from strokes. Yet, she still sang with us. I can’t even remember what the song was. I just remember feeling re-connected with her for just a few moments.
“One who knows how to show and accept kindness will be a friend better than any possession.” Sophocles
Sophocles, a Greek play writer, showed an understanding of the importance of kindness. A former co-worker has told me that she can’t accept a gift from me if she can’t reciprocate. Since I have been learning about the blessing of allowing others to help me at times, I can understand her position. However, I must say being a friend involves giving and receiving acts of kindness.
“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.” Douglas Pagels
“Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life.” Frank Tyger
I will be moving to a new apartment later this month. While I am excited to live there, I am dreading the move. My dad and some of my church friends will be helping me. Friends are the people that we can count on to help us when we need a ride, help moving, someone to care for our pet in our absence or some other need.
Relationships are based on four principles: respect, understanding, acceptance and appreciation.” Mahatma Gandhi (10/02/1869 – 01/30/1948).
As you know, I love to paint rocks and put them around downtown Waukesha for people to find and enjoy. I have placed four rocks today.
I put this rock by a tree near the picture that gave me the idea for this rock. Of course the mural is MUCH better than my rock.
I found the idea for this rock on Pinterest. It makes me think of how we humans need to be loved and cared for. I placed this one on a bridge called love bridge.
This is the message that I want to tell all of the people who are struggling in this world and community. Don’t give up. Sure take a break for a while but come back and keep studying and practicing. I hide this one at Cutler park by the library since learning new knowledge or skills can be done at the library.
This rock was smeared when I put the protective coating on it. I put this one at Youman’s park near the nursing home.
These didn’t come out as good. So, I picked some random places to put them.
Please feel free to look for them today (7/15, Saturday).
I have always struggled with an aversion to taking risks. I talked to my boss about a pay raise for the first time in my 50 year life this year. I mistakenly focused on my financial desires rather than how my work benefits my employer. But, I am proud that I even had the guts to broach the subject. So, these quotes are mostly for me. Yet, I know that what I struggle with is similar to the struggle of others.
“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” Muhammad Ali
Ali (1942-2016) is an American boxer who took a stand against the Vietnam War. I suspect I will regret not having tried to live my dreams when I die if I don’t take risks once and a while.
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out just how far one can go.” TS Eliot (1888-1965)
This quote reminds me of a conversation when I was in university. He pointed out that I could try out acting more confident without actually going to the point of yelling it from a roof top. For those of us who get scared anytime that we request something from an authority figure, it is unlikely for us to go too far.
“Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.” Roy Bennett
Roy T Bennett is an American author and speaker. All of us can fall into the trap of trying to please others such as our parents, spouses or role models. Then, we can lose what we want to do with our lives and time. I think a balance between a person’s dreams and his/her responsibilities is hard to find.
“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” Michelangelo
“My favorite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out. There are going to be times in your life when you’re going to have to stick your neck out. There will be challenges and instead of hiding in a shell, you have to go out and meet them.”    Ruth Westheimer
Sometimes the news makes me want to stay in bed all day. No reading about another mass shooting. No listening to politicians arguing or lying. Just peaceful solitude. But, I have to come out of my tiny apartment and go to work.
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” Wayne Gretzky
I finished listening to a book titled Peak Performance by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness . It reminded me that just as an athlete builds muscle by pushing themselves and resting, a person learns in a similar way. I read some of my old writing from 2010 and 2011.
The two Lenten devotionals that I wrote for my church.
I was disappointed to see that my writing hasn’t improved that much in a little over ten years. So, I have decided to find ways to stretch myself. Here is some of those attempts.
On my rock painting, I found some new ideas on Pinterest. If you want creative ideas, Pinterest is a great place to get them. My two completed works are not as beautiful as the ideas but they are my first attempt.
As you can see, the top rock got smudged when I sprayed it with the protective spray. They are both a rock painting idea that I will try again.
I will continue to study Spanish using Duolingo and reading/listening to books that are interesting and challenging for me.
As for my writing, I have not thought of any ideas to stretch myself. Do you have anything that you want to see on this blog?
I re-listened to Quiet by Susan Cain while at work today. It reminded me of a concept that I had never heard of before this book. It states that the idea of a culture of character being replaced by a culture of personality in the 1900s is from Warren Susman. Cain wrote,”In the Culture of Character, the ideal self was serious, disciplined, and honorable. What counted was not so much the impression one made in public as how one behaved in private. The word personality didn’t exist in English until the eighteenth century, and the idea of ‘having a good personality’ was not widespread until the twentieth. But when they embraced the Culture of Personality, Americans started to focus on how others perceived them.” (Pg. 21)
This part made me wonder if I live in the wrong time except that I like being able to vote. So, I can’t live in a time before women got the right to vote and other rights.
Ms. Cain shared that the industrial revolution encouraged this shift. I have a book titled Getting on in the World that I am curious to read in order to see if it focuses on character more than personality or charisma.
I watched a video by Lauren of the Living with Schizophrenia YouTube channel. She shared her most recent hospital stay due to schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder. Since I had thought about going into the hospital for my sleeping problem cause by depression, I was very interested to learn more about what it could have been like. While I could go to sleep just fine, I’d wake up way to early every morning. Then, I couldn’t go back to sleep except rarely. My brain would just start talking nonsense to me and I couldn’t get it to make sense. So, I started working with my employee assistance program in order to get therapy. One office that I called offered hospitalization when they heard me describing the sleeping problem and me desperate need for therapy. I know that my voice had become flat too. It sounded tempting almost like it would free me from some of my stress but I said, “No.” She sounds so honest about the struggle in the ER to get treatment. In a previous video, she showed her hospital room which looked okay to me. So, the video made me feel like hospitalization is more of a option if I ever need it.
Her description of her delusional thinking reminded me of a conversation that I had with my psychiatrist once. I told him that I was having odd thoughts of monsters coming out of my shower drain. I knew that the thinking was untrue but the thinking and feeling of a presence was very strong. I thought that I was losing my mind. The thoughts would pop at weird moments mostly at night. Sometimes, I’d feel the presence while washing my hands with my back to the shower. It is the memory of these thoughts that make me scared to go off my antidepressants.
Please watch this lady’s video if you are considering hospitalization for a mental health issues.
I collected five quotes about teamwork and will share them here.
“Teamwork is really a form of trust. It’s what happens when you surrender the mistaken idea that you can go it alone and realize that you won’t achieve your individual goals without the support of your colleagues.” Pat Summit
Pat Summit was an American women’s basketball coach. Here is an article about her. This quote reminds me of when I was a photo supervisor and a shift supervisor helped a customer. So, my store won a photo sells contest and I received a bonus. I felt bad because I knew that I didn’t win the contest. My team won it but I got the bonus. I spent some of it to bring food to work. I can’t remember what I brought or the size of the bonus. I just know that we only won because of our team not me. I just helped to keep the photo machines working.
“No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.” Halford E. Luccock
Luccock is an American Methodist minister and professor at Yale Divinity School. This reminded me of my music director at church when he plays the organ. I found a guy on YouTube who is called “India’s one man band.”
“Alone we can do little. Together we can do so much.” Helen Keller
“Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.” Amy Poehler
Amy Poehler is an American comedian that was on Saturday Night Live. This is similar to the concept of a mastermind group. Napoleon Hill used the phrase “mastermind alliance” and listed it as the second key to success. This remind me of a Bible study that met after church services at a previous church.
“How did we cure polio, small box and send a man to the moon? How did we decide the human genome in just 13 years? Collaboration. Focus on a specific goal, and teamwork.” Margaret Cuomo
Cuomo is an author who writes about health issues. When I was in university, I heard about the human genome project. I was surprised when I saw the news that it was fully sequenced. It felt like such a short time for such a huge achievement.
I’d like to end this post with a summary of my pastor’s sermon for the children. I can’t even remember the adult sermon. (Sorry, pastor.)
Pastor Jordan giving the children’s sermon
He began the lesson with three Legos to describe the triune God which includes the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He joked that Christians are terrible at math. Then, he explained that each one of us has a relationship with God. He gave each child a Lego and invited them to add their piece to the three blocks representing God. He mentioned someone that he knows who ha Schizophrenia and showed an odd shaped Lego. He reminded all of us that every member regardless of our mental health issues or sexual orientation can be in a relationship with God.
“Your spiritual gifts don’t have to impact the globe to matter; you can make a difference where you are, as you are, right now, with the gifts God has given you.”
This is from a devotional magazine called Christ in Our Home and was written by Lisa A. Smith.
The next paragraph presents examples.
“Your spiritual gift might be preaching to thousands, or knowing what to say to a loved one in crisis. Your spiritual gift might be donating a large sum to a charity, or giving the gift of time to a cause that’s important to you. Your spiritual gift might be modern-day miracles of surgery, or the tedious work of mending a broken relationship. With God’s help, none of us is lacking in spiritual gifts.”
As a child, I wanted to be a missionary doctor or maybe a psychiatrist. Then, I learned that I don’t function under stress.
Over the years, I read some books on spiritual gifts in the hope of finding my place in society. Here is a picture of some of those books. I was jealous of a friend who could donate larger amounts of money and more time to the church. She ran a Bible study at the local work release jail too. She did so much more than I ever could.
My current job is in a factory. While I am proud of my employer’s commitment to recycling, I wish I could help people more directly in my working life. But my depression symptoms come out when I am stressed which keeps me from those kinds of jobs.
I enjoy reading compilations of biographies. This is a children’s book but I bought it and read it anyways.
One person that was discussed was Anne Frank. While hiding from the Nazis from 1942 to 1944, she wrote a diary.
“I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are really good at heart.” She saw so much evil yet she still wrote this. I fight to hold on to this faith in the goodness of people. Yet, the news of mass shootings and people shooting others for very ridiculous reasons makes me wonder.
“If you want to make something happen that hasn’t happened before you’ve got to allow yourself to make a lot of mistakes.” Björk is a musician. 8 had never heard of her but that is why I like these books. They tell me about people that I have never heard of.
“It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default.” J.K. Rowling took the risk of writing her book while broke.
“There may be tough times, but the difficulties which you face will make you more determined to achieve your objectives and to win against all the odds.” Marta is a soccer player. The short write up on her life describes her father leaving her family when she was one year old. So, her mom had to work outside of the home. She started playing soccer in the street. Despite living in a poor area and financial struggles of her family, she competed in the Women’s World Cup.
Terezinha Guilhermina “sprints blindfolded, alongside a sighted guide runner.” She is blind and competes in the Paralympics. This reminded of the faith walk that I tried to do at 4h camp. I peaked down below the blindfold but it still was scary to walk the course while being guided by another participant. I can’t imagine the level of trust that this must have taken for her to sprint while being guided by a sighted person.
“I’d rather regret the risks that didn’t work out than the chances I didn’t take at all.” Simone Biles is a gymnast who spent sometime in foster care and raised by her grandparents.
