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Why I protest

I have been resisting the urge to write about politics on this site because I want to be welcoming to all. Today, I will share why I have attended two protests this year and plan to keep it up.

I think it is best for me to start with my feelings about my nation, the United States. I love the US because I was born and lived my whole life here. My grandparents and my parents were born and lived here too. The state of Ohio and the local government funded my public education which prepared me for college. I went to college with the help of a Pell Grant and college work study. I saw myself as an independent rather than a Republican or Democrat. When Obama was president, I was helped by Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Due to the times of my life that my government helped me, I was thankful for what the USA did for me. I was proud of the generosity of my government/nation towards people in need in the US and in other countries. I learned about the Peace Corps and dreamed of joining it as a way to experience adventure and help others. Due to my depression, I never managed to become a doctor or missionary. Yet, my depression and childhood also gave me a strong sense of empathy towards the struggles of others. President Kennedy started the Peace Corps and said, “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.” I never worried about who was President. I would vote and trust that whoever won would do the job to the best of his ability.

When Trump became president in 2016, I was worried about how things were going to go. I tried to live with it but I saw Trump angering our allies and separating families. This was my first time protesting. In fairness to my Republican friends, Obama started the separation policy due to a difference in the length of time a minor can be detained as compared to an adult. But, Trump expanded it by choosing to prosecute everyone for illegally crossing the border. It was a tiny protest by the Waukesha library and Cutler Park.

My next two protests were Black Lives Matter in Waukesha. I have always believed in a color blind society as the ideal until I started seeing videos of blacks being mistreated and/or killed by cops. The videos and books helped me to see that our gut instincts are a blend of intuition and our society’s hang ups. I try to find any racist thinking in my thoughts but I suspect that I still have some unconscious racist beliefs. This is why I feel that we need to focus on helping whoever is being mistreated in our society. When I was participating in Black Lives Matter protests, the phrase ” justice for all” was playing in my head. I used to recite the pledge of allegiance in the mornings at school. Then, they slowly removed it from my schooling. It was my belief then and now that a just society protects the rights of each and every person in that society regardless of race. Now, I add immigration status to the list.

I will end this post with a quote from The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus. This poem is on the Statue of Liberty which was given to the United States by France. I learned about this poem in elementary school.

“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

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A lasting legacy

If you could have something named after you, what would it be?

I have a friend whose father has a medical school  named after him due to a large donation. I have always wanted to leave behind a legacy of saved lives.

I would love to have a well dug in some water deprived community with a small plaque with my name on it. Or maybe, a life saving drug that I discovered.

I want to be remembered as a world changer. Yet, my life is so ordinary that I doubt that people will remember me much after I die.

Here is a quote from The Lost Choice by Andy Andrews.

I made you different from the others.

On the planet Earth, there has never been one like…and there never will be again.

Your spirit,your thoughts and feelings, your ability to reason-all exist in no one else….

Of the multitudes who have come before you and the multitudes who may follow, not one of them duplicates the formula with which I made you. …

I made you different in order that you might make a difference.

You have been created with the ability to change the world. Every single choice you make…every single action you take…matters. But remember, the converse is also true. Every choice you do not make…every action you do not take…matters just as much! …

By your hand, millions of lives will be altered, caught up in a chain of events begun by you this very day. But, the opposite is true as well. Millions of lives are also altered, caught up in an entirely different chain of events-if you choose to weight.

You possess the power of choice. Free will. You have been given everything you need to act, but the choice is yours alone. And beginning this very moment, you will choose wisely.

Now go. And never feel inadequate again. Do not dwell on thoughts of insignificance or wander aimlessly, lost, like a sheep.

You are powerful. You matter. And you have been found

You are my choice.

Your Father

I believe that God gave us talents and passions that are unique to each individual. He wants us to discover our abilities and desires and use them to make our communities, families and work places better.

My dream is to use this blog to encourage other Christians with a mental illness. I am better at writing than talking to people.

My prayer is for you all to find your calling or vocation. A vocation is not limited to religious jobs. It can be anything that is ethical.

What do you love to do?

Where do you feel the most empathy for others?

What are you good at? If you can’t think of anything, ask a friend?

What are you doing to improve your talents and skills?

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Jill Jackson Miller: Peace

Here is a quote from Wikipedia.

In an archival interview aired on David Freudberg’s National Public Radio program Humankind, Jill Jackson talked about her background and the context of the song.

“When I attempted suicide [in 1944] and I didn’t succeed,” she said, “I knew for the first time unconditional love—which God is. You are totally loved, totally accepted, just the way you are. In that moment I was not allowed to die, and something happened to me, which is very difficult to explain. I had an eternal moment of truth, in which I knew I was loved, and I knew I was here for a purpose.”

I have not checked the accuracy of this quote but suspect it to be true because other websites mentioned her trying to commit suicide.

She wrote the song titled Let there be Peace on Earth in 1955 with her husband Seymour Miller.

Here are the lyrics.

Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me
Let There Be Peace on Earth
The peace that was meant to be
With God as our Father
Brothers all are we
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony.
Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With ev’ry step I take
Let this be my solemn vow
To take each moment and live
Each moment in peace eternally
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.

I want to be a peacemaker but I am unsure how to do that in a nation that is as divided as ours is.

God, help me to know how to serve You, my community and fellow citizens in the midst of this chaotic world. I feel so lost and overwhelmed by the constant barrage of news. Yet, I know that You are by my side which gives me hope. Thank You for loving me. Amen.

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My new favorite place

When I lived in downtown Waukesha, my favorite place to walk, relax and exercise was Frame Park. This page is full of pictures from there.

Last month, I moved closer to the hospital. So, I was hoping to find a new favorite place. It is Woodfield Park and Ascension Lutheran Church’s memorial gardens.

Woodfield Park which is right next to the church has a fishing pond with a path around it.

Iced over pond

I am excited to see what it will look like when summer comes. Nearby is a creek.

Rocks in creek

Ascension Lutheran Church has a small pathway of their own.

Ascension Lutheran Church Memorial Gardens

The pathway is wide and easy to walk in order to make it available to all. At the end, a bench sits facing the creek.

It was very peaceful as I sat there listening to the creek gurgling and birds chirping.

Where is your favorite place?

If you don’t have one, I challenge you to wander around your neighborhood and see if you can find one.

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Quotes on learning continually

“He explained that once a person stops searching for information and knowledge, ignorance sets in. That struggle is a moment-to-moment decision–to learn to open or close one’s mind.” Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” Henry Ford

“The capacity to learn is a gift. The ability to learn is a skill. The willingness to learn is a choice.” Brian Herbert

“So when does your quest to improve yourself end? When you stop breathing. Between now and then, you should consider yourself to be an ongoing project. A work in process. Always improving. Never stagnant.” God is in the Small Stuff by by Bruce Bickel and Stan Juantz

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A hymn writer with depression

I was reading a book titled Prayer: Experiencing Intimacy with God by Timothy Keller. I ran across this statement.

“The great eighteenth-century hymn writer William Cowper suffered from bouts of depression, but he was able to write…” (Page 261).

So, I googled him and discovered that he attempted suicide repeatedly, and stayed at St. Albans hospital for mental health reasons yet he wrote hymns. Here is an article about his struggle with his depression, his writings and what we can learn from his experiences.

My favorite quote from Nick Meader’s article is “Many people grapple with mental illness throughout their lives. Sometimes God does not deliver us from affliction. If we only hear the testimonies of those who overcame, it can feel like our fault that we are not healed.”

He went on to talk about Mr Cowper meeting John Newton, pastor of a church. Mr. Newton encouraged Cowper to work with him on writing hymns to include in Olney Hymns. This writer pointed out that this pastor worked to encourage Mr Cowper to do what he was good at despite the repeated episodes of depression.

Here are the lessons that Mr Meader listed at the end of his article.

“1. Our understanding of mental health is often too simplistic.

2. Although many will recover from mental health problems- not everyone gets healed. Some will struggle over many years.

3. People with mental health conditions are more than their problems. Cowper was a world-class poet and author. John Newton was wise enough to see the person beyond his depression and anxiety.

4. Mental health problems are not necessarily a sign of spiritual immaturity. Cowper’s hymns and poetry show a depth of insight and beauty matched by few in the history of the church.”

I found myself wanting to tell everyone these lessons. I believe that my negative thinking will be with me all of my life. Right now, I am doing really well. I am managing to continue to function and feel joy and hope in the midst of a very stressful time. I am so thankful to God and all that have helped me over the many years of my life. I am amazed that I am not sitting staring at the wall having to remind myself to blink when my eyes start drying out like I have done in the past.

“1. When darkness long has vail’d my mind,
And smiling day once more appears,
Then, my Redeemer! then I find
The folly of my doubts and fears.
2 I chide my unbelieving heart;
And blush that I should ever be
Thus prone to act so base a part,
Or harbor one hard thought of thee!
3 O let me then at length be taught
(What I am still so slow to learn,)
That God is love, and changes not,
Nor knows the shadow of a turn.
4 Sweet truth, and easy to repeat!
But when my faith is sharply try’d
I find myself a learner yet,–
Unskillful, weak, and apt to slide.
5 But, O my Lord, one look from thee
Subdues the disobedient will;
Drives doubt and discontent away,
And thy rebellious worm is still.
6 Thou art as ready to forgive,
As I am ready to repine;
Thou, therefore, all the praise receive;
Be shame, and self-abhorrence, mine.”

I love how he shared his struggle to remember the love and mercy despite the tests of his faith.

Here is a video of a woman singing one of his hymns about the mysterious ways of God.

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Isaiah 431-7

I will be reading these verses at church in about a half hour. I joke that reading the Bible at church is as close as I will ever get to being a prophet. I pray that my fellow members will take these verses to heart.

“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel.”

It begins with a reminder of who God is and what He has done for us. I have noticed that God does this often when He speaks.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by my name, you are mine.”

God changed Jacob’s name to Israel in Genesis. For us, He called us into His church. By this, I mean the universal church that includes all of the redeemed.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

This verse is often quoted on inspirational images and calendars. It reminds us that God will walk beside us in the midst of our worst trials. Yet, I can’t help but think of the California fires and the many people who have lost their homes and most of their possessions. I think they are overwhelmed with all that has happened to them. I pray that God is lavishing His loving presence on them and encouraging the people around them to help in a large variety of ways.

“I give Egypt as your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you, I give people in return for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not fear, for I am with you.”

Normally, I am cautious about applying scripture that was spoken to a specific audience to myself. However, the Bible states that God loves us  in many other areas. Jesus died for us. God loved us so much that He gave his only Son so that we may be saved and live with Him forever.

The verses continue on the promise that God would bring the Israelites back from all corners of the world.

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Prayer for people involved in California wildfires

I have been hearing about fires on the radio. I have not even watched any video (well, I did watch one but it was satellite images) or looked at pictures because the descriptions are already touching my heart. So many people have lost their homes while others desperately seek pictures of their streets. I have no idea what these people are feeling right now. But, God knows their struggles.

May God be with them in a special way. May others treat them with loving kindness and compassion.

Thank You for the first responders and many others who are fighting the fires or helping the survivors. Please protect them and guide them as they work to help others.

In the name of Jesus who loved us enough to die for us. Amen.

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Prayer for unity

Grant, O God, that your holy and life-giving Spirit may move every human heart, that the barriers which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease, and that, with our divisions healed, we might live in justice and peace; through your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. Lutheran Book of Worship, 1978

I am reading through Genesis and listening to a Bible study podcast on the book as part of my new year’s goals. The podcast recently talked about how God created man in his own image. I have always loved how God created us in a much more hands on way than He did for the rest of creation. It makes me think that God loves mankind in a special way. Then, He called us “very good” rather than “good.” Since we are created in God’s image, we can show our love for God by treating His creation with love especially His most loved creation, mankind.

Unity is on my mind because this country, USA, feels very divided right now. I encourage everyone to remember that the opposing party is not evil. Both parties have honest, hard working Christians in them. We just disagree on what is best for the country. The media shares the most extreme views of both parties.

Here is another prayer from the same book about the diversity of the human race.

O God, you created all people in your image. We thank you for the astonishing variety of races and cultures in this world. Enrich our lives by ever-widening circles of fellowship, and show us your presence in those who differ most from us, until our knowledge of your love is made perfect in our love for all your children; through your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. Lutheran Book of Worship 1978