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Live On Purpose by Sadie Robertson Huff

I just finished reading this devotional book. Here are some quotes and my thoughts.

“Lord Jesus, show me Your love in the midst of my biggest fears, and give me the courage to risk doing what I am afraid of. Amen”

Guess what I have never done. I have never asked for a pay raise. I hate asking anyone for anything because I fear being rejected. I especially avoid asking an authority figure for things.

“On any given day, you may be super stressed and really want to take a break from everything. But please know that you’re worth a lot more than your feelings will tell you. One day – no matter how rough it is – does not define your life. Your purpose and calling give you an important place in the world. Do not give up. Hold tight to God. There is so much more joy to come and so many people counting on you to keep going. (Pg. 115)

My brain loves to lie to me in this way. I think cognitive behavioral therapy calls this catastrophizing. One or two things go wrong such as a fight with a family member. Then, I start thinking that I can’t get along with anyone. The memories of a lifetime of arguments swirl in my head. Yet, it is impossible for me or anyone to argue all the time. While I sometimes argue in my dreams and wake up angry, I know that I rarely argue at work.

“There are hundreds of comments saying that I sound annoying when I talk. Do these things hurt me? Sure. Because I’m human, and sometimes the comments sting. But I don’t let those little stings stop me from doing what I love to do and from using my voice in the spaces where God opens doors for me to speak. (Pg. 117)”

“Lord, knowing that everybody fails doesn’t make it any easier. So I pray that You would give me the courage to keep doing what You want me to do – even if it means getting roasted. I pray Your voice would be louder than the hate. Amen. (Pg. 117)”

I fear confrontation and worry about what others will think of me. Will they think I am too stupid to do my job? I sometimes think this when I get corrected on how to do something two or three times in an hour. The knowledge that I am learning a new job helps to reduce the thought’s volume and impact until the next correction. I have been at the new job for over two months and have already cried twice. I discovered that I am sensitive about my hand writing. Yet, it is readable.

“The Lord wants to help us strengthen our faith. He understands it’s hard to believe sometimes. So if you’re struggling with faith, I encourage you to ask God to give you the faith to believe. You can also pray that He will give you the strength that you need or that He’ll help you believe that you are loved and that you are enough. Or maybe it goes deeper and you need to ask Him for the faith to believe that your life matters and your breath has purpose. That’s not too far out to ask God for. That’s not too crazy to pray for. It’s exactly what God wants you to do. (Pg. 161)

This quote reminds me of when I was deep in a depression episode. I was praying for strength to get through the work day every morning. By the end of the day, my rational thinking part of my brain was too tired to keep up the fight against the negative thinking side of my brain. It is amazing how much work it is to fight your own brain. I’d just stare at walls or cry due to insufficient mental energy to keep up the fight. Thanks to therapy, medication and God, this time ended. I hope I don’t experience another episode.

“Lord, give me the courage to not let feeling awkward or foolish keep me from using the gifts You have given me. I humble myself to exalt Your name. Amen. (Pg. 199)

God, give me strength and wisdom to serve you and my fellow man through this blog. Amen

I believe that God gave me the gifts of compassion and writing.

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No Dream is Too High by Buzz Aldrin

While working on a previous post about Aldrin’s struggle with depression and alcoholism, I found some quotes from this book. So, I decided to read it.

Go for your dreams

“One truth I have discovered for sure: When you believe that all things are possible and you are willing to work hard to accomplish your goals, you can achieve the next ‘impossible’ dream. No dream is too high!’ I feel limited by my tendency to cry when stressed out. I have cried at every job that I have ever held. Since my current job is almost a month long so far, this is really saying something. So, I am not sure how far I can get in life. If I could believe that I can do it even under stress, I know that I would be more successful.

“Average people tend to think about merely maintaining the status quo; unsuccessful people think about simply surviving. Innovators and explorers think about what might be possible.” I have been working on thinking about how to get better at my job and make it better for my co-workers.

“Most people don’t like to move out of their comfort zones, but as we all know, change is inevitable. You can resist it and complain about it as an inconvenience, or you can regard change as your chance to do something new.” This quote reminds me of cognitive behavioral therapy which focuses on shifting one’s interpretation of an event. A lot of our emotions are influenced by how we interpret what is happening in our lives. So, shifting our thinking can help us to get our emotions under control.

“Life is a gift, and none of us has any guarantees about tomorrow, so don’t miss the opportunity to tell your friends and family members how much they mean to you.”

“All work is noble, if it is legal and ethical, so do your best, whether you are first, second, or last. Never lose an opportunity, a job, an election, a competition, or anything else because you were too lazy to give it your best effort.”

“I learned that asking for help was not a sign of weakness, but of true strength.”

“No matter who you are or how accomplished you may be, a time will come when you realize that you need help. Don’t be too proud or resistant to seeking help out of fear of embarrassment, reprisal, or other consequences.

“Seeking help when I was suffering with depression after returning from the Moon was a lifesaver for me-perhaps, literally.”

“Fortunately, I found excellent doctors and friends who encouraged me and helped me to recognize that I was not trapped by the past, that I could be responsible for my own decisions, and that my emotional health was much more important than my career.”

“Much more than talent or a pleasant personality, perseverance and persistence will open doors for you, if you simply keep working toward your goal and refuse to give up.”

“Nothing is impossible, but you must have a passion for what you want to do and a plan for where you want to go if you ever hope to get there.“

“But the truth is, if you are afraid to fail, you will probably not accomplish much in life.”

“IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT, something noble, something that perhaps has never been done before, you must be willing to fail. And don’t be surprised or devastated when you do. It is not the end of the world, and untold numbers of people have experienced major failures and have come back from them, not as more successful, but also as better, stronger people.”

“But failure is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are alive and growing.”

“Fear paralyzes in many ways, but especially if it keeps you from responding wisely and intelligently to challenges. The only way to overcome your fears is to face them head-on.”

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5 Quotes From Anne Frank

Anne Frank (1929-1945) wrote a diary while hiding from the Nazis. I am amazed by how she managed to stay positive in the midst of the Holocaust. I want to be able to stay hopeful no matter what I see in the news and in my personal life like she was.

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! “

I have always believed that everyone has goodness in them. While I know that we also have an evil side (sinful side), I believe that God created us in His image.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

This mystifies me. I have always dreamed of improving this world.

“Don’t think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that still remains. In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”

While I believe that most people are kind and honest in most situations, I doubt I could believe that if I had experienced what she did.

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature, and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.”

“I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness. I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too. I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.”

While Ann Frank didn’t live to see the end of the war, we know that it did end. She had hope in the future.

These quotes are reminding me to hold onto hope in the midst of this strange world. My sister has commented that she feels like we are in a parallel universe while I feel like I am trapped in the Twilight Zone. Pandemic. War in Ukraine. Supply chain problems. Inflation. Overturning of Roe v. Wade. A huge divide here in the US. Mass shootings. My city’s (Waukesha) Christmas parade tragedy. Highland Park parade shooting. Uvalde school shooting.

I found the quotes in Women Know Everything by Karen Weekes.

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Rock painting

I love to paint encouraging messages on rocks and leaving them around the city of Waukesha. I hope someone finds them and smiles.

If you find one, feel free to share a picture here, re-hide it or keep it.

Here are some of those rocks.
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Buzz Aldrin and depression

Buzz Aldrin went into outer space and visited the moon. This is such an amazing achievement for him and mankind. Yet he struggled with depression and alcoholism. Here is an article about his life and struggles. He shared his struggles in an interview too.

This story reminds me of a Elijah (1 Kings chapter 18 and 19). He challenged the prophets of Baal to a challenge. He had them set up two altars with sacrificed bulls. He had Baals’ prophets pray for their god to burn the sacrificed bull up. Nothing happened. (Crickets sounds playing here) Then, he has the people pour water three times on the altar for our God. The water filled the trench around the altar. I suspect the wood and sacrifice was dripping wet. Then, he alone began to pray to God. “Then, the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood and the stones and the dust, and it licked up the water that was in the trench (1 Kings 18:38).” Then, the people believed. A little later, Elijah prayed for rain causing a drought to end. This had to be a high point in his life like when Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon.

But, Elijah ran into death threats and found himself depressed. Buzz Aldrin developed depression and a substance disorder. Sometimes a great experience can lead to a stumble when things get tough again.

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I am unemployed

I hate being unemployed. My Google maps app is full of manufacturing companies in Waukesha, Wisconsin. My phone’s predictive typing anticipates my past employers’ names.

One day, I was on hold to asked my former employer’s HR a question and received two phone calls. I never knew I could take a call while on a call on my landline. I have scheduled phone calls and on site visits a day later. It feels strange to schedule things at an instant. No working around a work schedule. Instead, I have to work around other calls and visits.

I hate the overthinking of every interview. Why did I say that? Why was I slouching sideways? Why do I stare at the ground when thinking?

I have only just begun week two! Two onsite interviews. Three temping agencies sharing my resume with clients. Posted resumes to Indeed, LinkedIn and Job Centers of Wisconsin.

As you can expect, my mood has been up and down too. A few sleepless nights near the end of the week. Hope at the start of the week.

I am spending more time with my friend, painting rocks and taking walks. I am attempting to return to reading a devotional and a Chicken Soup book. I have started leaving my painted rocks around town in the hopes that someone will smile when he/she finds it.

My painted rocks

Are there any other unemployed people working as a job seeker? What methods are you using to cope with the stress?

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Support Ukraine event at St Luke’s

My painted rocks

I painted some rocks blue and yellow to show my support of Ukraine. Since Sophia has a Support Ukraine event at my church, St Luke’s I put my rocks near the church. I hope they make someone smile.

The event had a bake sale, silent auction, music and some dancing. I bought me some sweets and two sunflower pins.

Sunflower pins

During the program, I googled sunflowers and Ukraine. I discovered that sun flowers are the national flower of Ukraine. The article also described how they planted sun flowers at Chernobyl.

I tried to take some pictures but it was too dark and far from my seat to get good pictures.

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God doesn’t want you to be alone

I can’t say wether God wants you to get married or not. But, He wants you to have people in your life who will encourage you when things get tough.

Jesus called the disciples to accompany Him. Simon and Andrew were brothers just like John and James, sons of Zebedee. I think Jesus knew that living with family members nearby to help and support His disciples would be important to His students. Later, Jesus sent the disciples out in pairs to share the good news.  After Jesus died, the apostles still traveled in pairs. In the fourth chapter of Acts, Peter and John preached together and were arrested together, When the apostles were released, they gathered together and prayed. Chapter six describes the selection of deacons to serve widows of the Church. God cares for His people through the community of God.

Since I hate getting up in the morning on the weekend, I keep skipping church. So, this article needs to be preached to me more to me than probably the two or three people who will read it.

God, thank You for my friends. I met most of them at work or church. Like my family members, my three friends share their life with me and I share mine with them. I know from reading how Jesus invited His disciples to live with Him that this is what you desire for me. Since I am an introvert, I limit my friends to small circle of close friends. Thank You for understanding my need for solitude to relax, read interesting news and do arts and crafts. Amen.

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Charles Spurgeon had depression

Charles Surgeon was a famous English Baptist preacher. He preached at Metropolitan Tabernacle, founded Spurgeon’s College and started the Stockwell Orphanage. (1)

In 1856, a mass casualty event happened to him as he preached. He was preaching at Surrey Gardens Music Hall in London. The building was filled to overflowing. As he finished a prayer, a person in the crowd shouted, “Fire. The galleries are giving way!” Seven people died in the stampede while 28 we’re injured enough to be in critical condition. He struggled with this experience for a long time afterwards. (2)

Here are some quotes from Spurgeon about his experience of depression and other things.

1. I am the subject of depression so fearful that I hope none of you ever get to such extremes of wretchedness as I go to. But I always get back again by this—I know that I trust Christ. I have no reliance but in him, and if he falls, I shall fall with him. But if he does not, I shall not. I was amazed by how much depression effects every part of my life. I had trouble sleeping, very terrible attention span and crying all of the time. I hung on to Christ and begged for the strength to get through each day.

2. I often feel very grateful to God that I have undergone fearful depression. I know the borders of despair and the horrible brink of that gulf of darkness into which my feet have almost gone. But hundreds of times I have been able to give a helpful grip to brethren and sisters who have come into that same condition, which grip I could never have given if I had not known their deep despondency. This reminds me of the phrase “blessed to be a blessing.” Sometimes, God allows us to experience suffering so that we may reach out to others in similar circumstances.

Our sorrows are all, like ourselves, mortal…They come, but blessed be God, they also go. We suffer today, but we shall rejoice tomorrow. This quote is similar to the line from alcoholics anonymous which says “This too shall pass.” So, this is a great reminder that no matter how bad something is, it will end.

There is no learning sympathy except by suffering. It cannot be studied from a book, it must be written on the heart. I would much rather learn something from a book than through suffering. Yet, God uses our experiences to teach and prepare us for the future. Always work to learn from your mistakes and experiences. Please understand, I am not saying that God is beating you up to teach you something. I am saying that He will find a way to use that horrible experience without being the one to cause it.

Our infirmities become the black velvet on which the diamond of God’s love glitters all the more brightly.

I believe the holier a man becomes, the more he mourns over the unholiness which remains in him.

There is no secret of my heart which I would not pour into [the Lord’s] ear. There is no wish that might be deemed foolish or ambitious by others, which I would not communicate to him. God is a great listener. Maybe God’s choice not to speak to me much makes it easier to pour my heart out to him. It also helps that I know that He desires this.

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow-only today of its strength.”