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The Waukesha Christmas Parade Tragedy

On November 21st, a man drove a red SUV into people marching in our Christmas parade. Six people died because of this action. Here are a collection of pictures of my community’s response to this tragedy.

At first, main street where this took place had press everywhere.

Press along main street after the Christmas parade tragedy
Press along main street after the Christmas parade tragedy

While looking at the press along the street, I noticed and orange marks on the street. I suspected they were evidence markings.

Colored marks on street the Christmas parade tragedy

As time went by, items began showing up at Veteran’s Park where the city invited people to leave memorial items.

Local businesses began posting messages of support.

Waukesha strong decorations in downtown Waukesha
A memorial tree was placed at Veteran’s Park.

The Christmas parade memorial was decommissioned and put into storage earlier this week (Wednesday morning). Now a few more items have appeared.

Now empty veteran’s Park sundial.
The spot where the memorial Christmas tree used to stand.
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Happy 2020, Take Three

Usually, I feel hope for the new year. But, this year I don’t feel any hope or excitement for the new year. Pandemic is continuing while I wait for Covid-19 test results just like I did in January 2021. My nation, USA, feels more divided than ever. My employer will be laying me off in February or March. I am still waiting for my official 60 day notice as required by Wisconsin.

Here is my meme attempt about 2022

So, I am reminding myself that Jesus will be my shepherd just like he has done in the past. My family, friends and church will be there for me too if I reach out and ask. (I struggle with this part.)

I struggle with asking for help from my family, friends and church.
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Quotes from Make Your Bed

Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe The World is by Admiral William H. McRaven. He wrote the book as an expansion on a speech given to the graduating class of 2014 at the University of Texas.

“They all understood that life is hard and that sometimes there is a little you can do to affect the outcome of your day. In battle soldiers die, families grieve, your days are long and filled with anxious moments. You search for something that can give you solace, that can motivate you to begin your day, that can be a sense of pride in an oftentimes ugly world. (Pg 9)’

A great many therapists will suggest selecting one small thing that can make your life better. My city, Waukesha,Wisconsin, had six people die due to a man driving a red SUV into our Christmas parade. I want to help but can’t donate blood since I gave on the eighteenth. I am concerned about my upcoming layoff which is limiting my willingness to donate money. Yet, I love painting rocks. While I am not any good at it, I made six rocks. One for each victim as my way of mourning their deaths and the changes to parade preparations.

What is one simple thing you can do to make your life or community better?

“It is easy to blame your lot in life on some outside force, to stop trying because you believe fate is against you. It is easy to think that where you were raised, how your parents treated you, or what school you went to is all that determines your future. Nothing could be further than the truth. The common people and the great men and women are all defined by how they deal with life’s unfairness; Helen Keller, Nelson Mandela, Stephen Hawking, Malala Yousafzai and Moki Martin (pg. 42.)”

Our past can add challenges to our endeavor to succeed in life, it can’t keep us from success. Sometimes, we have to change our goals in response to our limitations.

I dreamed of becoming a doctor when I was in high school and college. Then I learned that I freeze in emergency situations. I am now hoping I can find a way to help others through this blog. My desire to help others was my main reason for wanting to be a doctor. Now, it is my main reason for blogging and praying for others.

What are your dreams? If they are not reachable, what are your top three reasons for wanting this dream? Is there another goal that can help you to achieve this desire?

“Life is a struggle and the potential for failure is ever present, but those who live in fear of failure, or hardship, or embarrassment will never achieve their potential. Without pushing your limits, without occasionally sliding down the rope headfirst, without daring greatly you will never know what is truly possible in life. (Pg.63)”

I am not a risk taker. Yet, I am risking a failure in my writing and blogging dream by having this blog. Why? I know that if I don’t try I will always wonder if I could have succeeded.

What is one thing that you can do to work on a goal or dream?

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What I learned from Covid-19

In March of 2020, my employer gave us essential employee letters to carry with us as we commuted to and from work. My mom worked at Walmart while my sister worked in a tax office. I learned that we are all essential to each other, our communities, families and friends regardless of our jobs.

As the pandemic continued, I discovered a fear of hurting people by breathing near them. Sometimes, I would hold my breath when I came close to people. I realized that my fear of driving is because of my fear of scaring, hurting or killing another person. Driving is probably the situation where this most likely.

In January 2021, I had Covid-19. The fear of hurting someone became much stronger. During the ten day self isolation, I waited until my local businesses closed for the night and slipped out to drop my rent check in the mail drop box and retrieve some toilet paper from my car trunk. As I was entering the parking garage, I heard a human. Yes, that is how my brain registered it. I froze in fear for a few seconds but never saw anyone. I managed to return home without seeing a person. Afterwards, I found myself wondering what I would have done it I has seen someone. Run away probably while crying. Would I have said COVID positive? I have no idea. That fear of breathing near others came up at work and the parking garage. I joked to myself that it was PTSD like. I learned how strong my fear can be and my need to be around people. I now enjoy sitting where I can hear people laughing and talking. I never used to do that. I am an introvert who loves to stay home alone but not for ten days.

On the last day of self isolation, I had to cancel an eye surgeon appointment. When I went to the re-scheduled appointment, I complained about having to cancel in order to finish the self isolation. The lady checking temperatures thanked me for doing that. In my head, I replied that it had nothing to do with her. Then, I mentally listed my neighbors, co-workers and those I might have come into contact with as people I was protecting from me. Then, I realized that she was probably in that last group. I still remember her words. This reinforced my belief that words matter.

In April and May, I received the Pfizer vaccine. The first dose made me tired and chilly while at work. The second dose made me dizzy for a day. The second day, I felt off for a day. In December, I got a booster shot and slept the next day away. The dizziness discouraged me from wanting to move around my two room apartment.

Everyone of us has made sacrifices to help others such as staying home while infected, quarantining, vaccines and wearing masks. Thank you to every person who has helped in the medical community and others who have made these sacrifices.

What have you sacrificed to help others during this pandemic? What have you learned from this pandemic?

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Quotes from Holy Sweat

I love to read and collect quotes. Here are some quotes from Holy Sweat by Tim Hansel.

  1. “For life is a mystery to be lived out rather than a problem to be solved.” He states that an anonymous writer wrote this (pg 23).
  2. “In fact, the only real difference between the sacred and the secular is that the secular doesn’t know it’s sacred yet. (pg. 29)
  3. “The shocking message of the Bible continues to be that God has chosen the least suspecting of all vessels to do his greatest work. What you are at this particular moment in your life is irrelevant-your nationality, your education, your personality, or how you are physically, spiritually, and otherwise. Why you are is likewise irrelevant. What counts most is what and who you are willing to become. (pg.31)”
  4. “In a very real sense not one of us is qualified, but it seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do His work, to bear His glory. If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualifications, then there’s no danger that we will confuse God’s work with our own or God’s glory with our own.” (pg. 53)
  5. “Holiness is not a state to be attained but a never-ending process–the core of which is the quality of our continually growing relationship with and through Christ. Holiness is not a place, a thing, or a building. Holiness is in the journey, the process, a gift.” (pg. 60)
  6. “One of the things we need to remember constantly is that we can love other people only in direct proportion to the way we love ourselves.” (pg. 100)
  7. “Communion, we must remember, is made up of broken bread and crushed grapes. So, it is in our brokenness and our imperfections, that we are called to come together and help each other be whole-the best we can be.” (pg. 106)
  8. “The Christian life is not difficult. It’s downtown impossible. It’s designed that way. If we could do it through achievements, we wouldn’t need the grace of God.” (pg. 140)

I skipped over quotes by other people. I think this book contains some very good quotes from other people too.

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My favorite non-Christian self-help books

I am an avid reader of self-help books. I recommend that you check and see if the author is a professional in the field such as a psychiatrist, therapist or workshop leader. Also, keep in mind that the strategies in the book are suggestions. Try them out and don’t kick yourself if they don’t work for you. I think God gave us a brain which allows us to observe and study what works for others.

1. The Feeling Good Handbook.  I have read this book a couple of times through. If you have had a therapist use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with you, then this book will be very familiar to you.  I think a psychologist from my college days introduced this book to me as part of my therapy with him. He shares a variety of thinking techniques for dealing with depression and anxiety. Dr. Burns shares a list of thoughts that a person can use to monitor his/her thinking. Then he shares a variety of thinking techniques that a person can use to correct his/her thinking. Any book by Dr. David D Burns is a great read that will give you a lot of techniques to try out.

2. Self-Assertion for Women. This book is by Pamela E. Butler and contains a discussion of why it is harder for women than men to be assertive in relating to others. You may find this book dated but it has some good ideas on how to practice self-assertion.  This book offers a variety of ways to speak up for one’s self or the option of not speaking up. It really should be something that you can choose whether or not to speak up for yourself rather than allowing your past to make the decision for you.

3. Your Perfect Right. This book by Robert E. Alberti, Ph.D. and Michael L. Emmons, Ph.D.  teaches that everyone has a right to be heard. I really appreciated the authors’ willingness to recommend counseling if the reader felt the need for it. This book also shares how to express one’s feelings to others. I don’t think many people think of that as assertiveness but it is.

4. When Words are Not Enough. This book helped me to see my need for medication and better understand my depression better.  Here is a quote that blew me away because it described my sleeping problems. “The classic depressive sleep pattern is called early morning wakening, characterized by waking somewhere between 2 or 3 am and 5 am, usually without falling back to sleep.” That is an exact description of the sleep pattern that I had during my depression.

5. Beyond Codependency and Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps by Melody Beattie. She writes about the struggles that people who are close to a person who is addicted goes through. Just as an addict needs to go get help from others, many times the loved ones of that addict needs help too. They have adapted their behaviors to live with the addict. So, now they need to re-learn how to relate to the addict in recovery and others.  Any book from Hazelden is a great book to read.

“But it isn’t our job to take care of others-to take care of their feelings, thoughts, decisions, growth, and responsibilities. It is our job to do that for ourselves.” (Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps, Pg. 24) Since I blamed myself for when my step-father got mad at me, this quote earned an underline in my copy of this book. “When I feel deprived, unloved, uncared for, abandoned, and left out of life, I can practice gratitude. ” (Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps, pg. 51)

6. Narcotics Anonymous. I have read the Alcoholics Anonymous book (The big book) and this one. I felt like the AA book was kind of harsh in how it dealt with addiction. I found this book to be gentler. So, I prefer it. Since these books are based on the twelve steps, they focus a lot on a higher power like the books that I named in the previous paragraph.

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Seven faith practices

My pastor is doing a series of sermons on seven faith practices. I thought that I’d share it with all of you.

1. Dwell in the word. Here are some Bible verses about the value of reading the word.

“Heaven and Earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” Matthew 24:35 (ESV). Interestingly, this quote can be found at Mark 13:31, and Luke 21:33.

2. Serving others without expectation of return. I think the actions and stories of Jesus are the best examples of this principle. On Thursday for Passion week, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. This was the job of a slave in a Hebrew household. Yet, Jesus served his disciples in this way.  (John 13) “You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you (John 13:13-15, ESV)”

3. Worship weekly. I would prefer to change this to “live in community with God’s people” instead of how my pastor listed it. When we are baptized into the Lutheran Church-ELCA, either we or our parents promise that we will “live among God’s faithful people.” This is a gift from God to us his people that we find that we love and hate at the same time. If you have ever been part of a church dispute, you know how heated one can be. Yelling. Arguing in front of visitors. E-mail battles. However, we can grow in faith through the role models in our churches. The lady who always seems to be praying for everyone. The man who volunteers to fix things around the church. “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24-25, ESV)” As you can see from the last few words in this verse, this is advice for preparing for the end/return of Christ. However, I think this verse can still apply to today.

4. Encouraging others. The previous verse is also good for this part of the seven faith practices. Here is another one. “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Besides, we never know what someone is going through and when he/she will need a word of encouragement. Think of a time that a few words made a big difference in your day or maybe even your life. Today, my pastor complemented my reading of the word in the service today. It made me really happy that he thinks that I am doing a good job of figuring out how to make the reading understandable.

5. Praying without ceasing. “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, ESV) Muslim tradition teaches that Mohammed negotiated God down to requiring prayer five times a day. I know that I would have tried to do the same thing if I even had the guts to be able to make coherent sentences. I have found that I can’t pray when making change for a customer or asleep. I also tend to forget to pray frequently.

6. Inviting others. “Philip found Nathanael and said to him, ‘We have found him of whom Moses in the Law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph. Nathanael said to him,’Can anything good come out of Nazareth?’ Philip said to him,’Come and see.'” (John 1:45-46, ESV) My pastor brought in a power tool and shared that with us as part of his sermon. I found myself expanding on the idea and thinking that we are called to share our lives with others. If someone is struggling with something, sharing it with another will help that person and perhaps the person who hears of the struggle.

7. Give generously. When I searched for Bible verses for this portion, I was surprised by how many verses contain the word “give” in relation to God giving us something. Salvation. His peace. “In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said,’It is more blessed to give than to receive.'” (Acts 20:35, ESV) “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7, ESV)   

Questions for you.

  1. Which one of these practices is your strength?
  2. Which one of these practices is your weak point?
  3. List some people that you know personally who live out these practices. 
  4. What can you learn from the lives of these people? 

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Three lessons from the time Elijah asked God to take his life

Elijah had just finished the most amazing miracle in his life. He challenged the followers of Baal to competition to see which god/God can burn up a sacrifice on command. If you know the story, the God of Israel manages to burn up the sacrifice even though it is soaking wet. Here are three lessons that I see in this text (1Kings 19).

1. Sometimes our worst moment follows one of our most amazing moments. In chapter 18, God showed the people of Israel that He is God rather than Baal. What an amazing high this must have been for Elijah. Then God brought rain and Jezebel declared that she will kill Elijah by tomorrow. When he heard this, he was afraid and ran away.

2. Sometimes an issue requires more than just faith. I have heard people say that Jesus is all you need. I think these people are sincere but wrong. When Elijah asked God to take his life, (19:4) He sent an angel. The angel fed him and let him sleep.  The angel did this a second time before sending him to journey to meet God. God shows that Elijah needed more than just a word from God. He needed food and rest before moving on. I think this reminds us how much our physical well being can affect how we see our life and world. 

3. Sometimes what one thinks is true is different than reality. After the angel had fed him two times, Elijah went to a cave in Horeb mountain.

God asked, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only left, and now they are trying to kill me too.:

(1 Kings 19:14)

Elijah thought that he was the only prophet left. But, God knew otherwise. He directed Elijah to anoint Elisha has his successor. He also states that he still had seven thousand followers who didn’t bow the knee to Baal (18).

God is working behind the scenes even when we think He is defeated.

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Nine lessons from the book of Job

The book of Job explores the question of evil happening to good people. It answers some questions and leaves other questions unanswered. Here are ten things that I have learned from the book of Job.

  1. God is in control in the midst of evil. In the first chapter of Job, God brags about Job to Satan. Satan responds with a challenge. “Strike everything he has and he will curse you to your face.” The angels are probably standing around watching this exchange in rapt silence.

“Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” replied God. I imagine His voice as powerful and authoritative.

Satan smiles and leaves heaven. The angels watch and whisper among each other. The scene shifts to show Job receiving the terrible news. Servant after servant runs in to tell him of the lose of his animals and children. All he has left is his wife and health. No livelihood. No more children. All gone in moments.

Job’s response? “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away” and fell on his face and worshiped God.

2. Evil will come to everyone Job experienced a level of evil that I hope no one has to suffer through. Yet, we all have lived long enough to know that bad things will happen to all of us. Job shows his understanding with the above response.

3. Words matter. When I was a kid, there was a chant that went “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Yet, we see that Job was seriously hurt by the words of his friends. One of my strongest memories is when my step-father told me, “You are too stupid to be a doctor.” I sometimes remember this event when I am feeling dumb at work. My mind goes crazy with thoughts of how I am too stupid to do almost anything. Any person who was abused as a child remembers hurtful words. Maybe their parents never physically or sexually abused them. So, they believe that they had a good childhood. But, words matter. Our brains remember those words from childhood just as Job felt more and more anguished as he listened to his friends” advice.

4. It is dangerous to assume that God is punishing you for a sin. The friends of Job told him that he had sinned in some way. If he repents, then God will forgive him. While God does punish people for sin, sometimes bad things happen for completely other reasons. We see that Job was a righteous man at the beginning of the book. He attempts to defend himself from his friend’s accusations. As the conversation continues, Job wishes he’d never been born (Job 3:11). and that God would just kill him (Job 6:9)

Later Jesus is asked a similar question. Jesus and his disciples are walking along and they see a blind man.

“His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?'” (John 9:2) As you can see, this idea that God brought evil into a person’s life due to sin was very strong in that time.

“‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus.’but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.'” (John 9:3) ironically this is true for Job too. The angels witnessed the amazing faith of Job. We never know who might be encouraged by our faith. For the blind man, Jesus healed him of his blindness. Then the pharisees had him brought before them. So, he had the privelidge of testifying about Jesus in the New Testament.

I think we tend to blame ourselves for the bad things that happen in our lives because we want control over our circumstances. If I am experiencing this because I committed a sin, then I can change this by repenting and living better. If the evil is there for no apparent reason, then I have no control of the situation. I have to trust that God is in control and He loves me.

5. God can handle your anger at Him. Job complains that He can’t take God to court. Even though Job was mad at God and wanted to take Him to court, God didn’t punish him. He instead revealed himself to him by talking to him from the midst of a storm.

6. God doesn’t answer all of our questions. Job demands answers and vindication from God. But, God questions him about where he was during creation. God refuses to answer his questions. He does the same with us when we asked “Why me?” I tend to ask this when something goes wrong in my life. I also wonder why He allowed the haulacaust or 911.

7. The things that God remembers and honors is different than man’s historical records or values. God felt that Job and his experience was important enough for him to be included in His word, the Bible. Our history books would have never mentioned him. We record wars, politics and famous people in our history. Yet, God remembers those who serve Him even in the small insignificant areas of our lives.

8. God created the world.  Genesis discusses God creating the world the most. Job reminds us of this fact. As a Lutheran, Evangelical Lutheran Church of America member, I believe that ‘God created the world but don’t attempt to explain how. I just trust his word that He created the world. Perhaps he did it through science. I don’t know.

9. God is all powerful. I have always believed that God is all powerful but the moment that I felt awed by this power was during a rain storm. I was walking to the bus depot in order to ride the bus somewhere. The sky was dark with clouds, rain and lightening. I started thinking about how Jesus was able to speak to the wind and calm it down. Professional fishermen were scared. It must have been a terrible storm to scare fishermen. Yet, Jesus spoke the winds into a calm sea. A powerful God is scary if you forget that God also loves you.

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Needing help, try the Hope Center

Let’s imagine a hard situation. Isabelle knows that her son doesn’t want to go back to school because he has no new clothes to wear. His current clothes are developing holes wear knees and necklines should be. So, she calls the 211 social services hotline and they recommend a place called Hope Center. She drives to the address and finds a building that looks like a funeral home.

“This is the place. I hope they can help us.” She helps her son, Brian, out of the car and into the building. Once in the office, she completes some paperwork and receives a new electronic id.

The lady receptionist comes around the desk. “Follow me, I will show you to the clothing area.”

“Oh, this looks like a thrift store.” The receptionist took her over to the children’s section.

While this client experience is fiction, the Hope Center is a real place in downtown Waukesha. I interviewed Al Luzi, Director of Community Development, for this post. The most memorable thing that he said to me is that anyone who comes to them is eligible for services. A client can get ten pairs of clothing per month. In 2017, 4,653 people used the clothing store for a total of 35,831 visits. “Approximately 41% of all visits were for children” like in my fictional account.

The Hope Center provides a meal program, clothing, financial assistance, legal services, and furniture for those in need in Waukesha. “Call or stop in today if you are in need of assistance. Valid ID and proof of Waukesha County residency required. Examples of proof residency include: lease, shelter letter, utility bill, etc.”

Hope Center 

HopeCenterWi.org

(262) 549-8726

502 N. East Avenue

Waukesha, WI 53186