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Quotes from Blow Away the Black Clouds

Florence Littauer lost two children and became depressed. She overcame and wrote a book in order to help Other Christians to do the same. 

Here are some quotes describing how she experienced depression. 

“As I sat holding one dying child after another, I lost interest in everything. I once was a gourmet cook, but now I didn’t care if I even ate. I was once a club president, but now I didn’t care if the bylaws ever got straightened out. I had once been a social butterfly, but now I lost all interest in afternoon teas. These former activities went from important to inconsequence. As I tried to suppress my grief, I lost my smile.” (Pg. 22)

I remember walking to the bus stop on a sunny day with the sound of birds chirping and telling myself to enjoy the walk. But, I just couldn’t enjoy anything.

“I got so I would cry if I heard someone laugh. I disliked anyone whose life seemed to be running smoothly. It was not fair that anyone should be happy when I was sad and hopeless ” (pg. 25)

This quote reminds me of how I worked hard to make my sister miserable. I believed that I couldn’t be happy and decided to make my sister feel as miserable as I felt. I guess I wanted company in my personal hell.

The author encouraged the reader to look for his/her strong ability. She lists off some ideas that might be true for that reader. The individual could find one small goal to work on which might decrease the person’s feelings of helplessness. On the issue of housework, she recommended having every member of the family help out. She goes on to talk about organizing the house, working on self-improvement goals and helping others. After this chapter, she writes:

“If you are so distraught that getting organized and raising your self-image are beyond you, perhaps you should seek outside help.”  pg. 90)

I appreciate it when a Christian self-help book is open to seeking help from a person’s doctor, a therapist or some other medical intervention.

Many of us Christians experience doubts in our faith when ever we face hard times and depression. The author describes her experience of losing her faith for a time.

“As an adult I regularly attended church and considered myself a Christian, mainly because I wasn’t anything else, yet when I was faced with the tragedy of two brain-damaged sons, being able to recite the books of the Bible didn’t provide much consolation. I prayed for healing for my sons, but knew it was hopeless. Soonwhatevere faith I had disappeared and I decided there couldn’t be a God if a good person like me was in such a situation.” (pg. 97)

God loves you so much that He will forgive you for doubting your faith. He knows how much we humans struggle with believing in and trusting in a loving God. Doubt doesn’t mean that your faith is weak. It is part of a relationship wth God.

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Simone Biles had therapy before competing

I had heard about Biles quitting the Olympics the last time for a mental health issue. I had meant to look it up and see what the issue was. Now, she is the most decorated US women’s gymnastics Olympian.

Here is an article about her experience with therapy. I think she demonstrates that we can struggle with a mental health issue, get treatment and overcome. I suspect she still has anxious thoughts and emotions just like all of us but she found a way to perform at peak levels anyways.

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Church confession

I am sitting at church listening to the other members chatting nearby a counter with brownies and other snacks. Here is the group confession for today.

“God, our provider, help us. It is hard to believe there is enough to share. We question your ways when they differ from the ways of the world in which we live. We turn to our own understanding rather than trusting in you. We take offense at your teachings and your ways. Turn us again to you. Where else can we turn? Share with us the words of eternal life and feed us for life in the world. Amen.

The line about believing that “there is enough to share” made me think of how greedy we get sometimes. I feel more secure when I have money saved up. But, I think some people get to the point that they constantly need more and more in order to feel safe. I like the fact that this guides me to pray for the ability to feel safe in what I have while I share some of it with others.

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Self-care while dieting

How do you practice self-care?

I joined a weight loss study called the EVO study and their calorie goal is 1,500 a day! I suspect that I will feel hungry a lot during the next six months. I am used to eating 2,500 or maybe even 3,000 a day.

Chocolate brownie

So, I am working on planning my coping  techniques. When I was in therapy for depression, I learned about self-acceptance and self-talk. The last time that I went on a diet and lost weight, I felt guilty every time I overate. I will remind myself that I am still a worthwhile person even when I lose my mind and eat every sweet thing that I can get my hands on. I will tell myself that dieting is hard for everyone. It is understandable to fail at times. I am not sure what I will do when I start having food dreams or cravings. Fortunately, I love fruits and salads.

My second plan is to reward myself at specific weight goals. I will go to St. Vincent de Paul when I reach a weight lower than 180. I am currently at 185. I will pat myself on my back mentally for each day that I meet the goal calorie count. I have no idea how to celebrate a week of meeting the goal for the majority of a week.

The study also has a fat goal and exercise goal. The exercise goal gets gradually increased as time goes on.

Another plan that I want to work on is to ask for support from my friends and family. I am uncertain how they can help me. I am not used to exercising with others.

Walking on a path

My favorite exercise is walking but I tend to do it by myself and very slowly. I will do some brisk walking as part of my walks if it will ever stop raining. Another exercise that I enjoy is kayaking down the Fox River but I have to save up money for the kayak rental. I will be looking for some other fun exercise ideas. So, I will use this journey as a way to try out new foods and exercise activities.

As you can tell, I will be putting my therapy experience into a lot of use.

I am thinking about doing a visioning collage as a visual reminder of why I am doing this. If I do, I want something to represent improved health, longer life span, more energy and better self-confidence.

What are you doing to improve your life for yourself?

What are your plans on how to do that?

What challenges are you expecting and how do you plan to respond when they come up?

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Prayers for my country

With all that has happened in the past five years and is happening now, I have been begging God to give wisdom to our leaders (federal,state and local).

Almighty God, you have given us this great land as our heritage. We humbly pray that we may always remember your generosity and faithfully do your will. Bless our land with honest industry, truthful education and an honorable way of life. Defend our liberties and strengthen the resolve of the people who have come from throughout the world to make America their home. Lead us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong. Help us to appreciate the opportunities that are ours as we struggle to bring harmony to an unsettled world. May we balance our concern for justice with a willingness to display mercy, and may our concern for security be tempered with a willingness to take risks which will produce worthwhile change for the good of all people. O Lord, we pray for your guidance as we work together for the best interest of our communities, our nation, our world, and the ultimate goal of peace. When times are prosperous, let our hearts be thankful and in troubled times may our deepest trust be in you. Amen

This is from the Chaplains’ Service Book of Prayers.


Flag Prayer
Almighty Father of us all;
Humbly we ask Thy blessing upon this symbol of our land,
our homes, our liberties and especially we beseech Thee
to open our eyes that we may more fully enshrine within
our hearts the heritage which is ours. The values of our
liberties, the glory of the symbol before which we bow in
reverence only less than which we kneel to Thee. Suffer
us all to pledge anew in our hearts what we pledge with
our lips, an undying devotion to the flag which stands for
the America we love. Amen


Richard Kline, Chaplain Post 64 I found this online in a PDF from the American Legend.

LORD of hosts, I thank Thee for the many blessings which Thou hast granted us as citizens of our country. I acknowledge that we are not worthy of any of Thy manifest mercies. I, as well as we, our Church and our country, have sinned against Thee. I have been ungrateful, and have deserved Thy judgements rather than the privileges so often and so shamefully abused. Remember, I ask Thee, Thy mercies of old, and for the sake of thine only-begotten Son, our Redeemer, forgive us our guilt. Guard our country from war and bloodshed, from revolution and civic strife, from famine and pestilence. Preserve to us and to our children the liberty and the peace we have enjoyed, and let no enemy from within or without succeed in depriving our nation of these treasures of Thy mercy. Grant the rulers of our country, our State, and our community, wisdom and courage to uphold righteousness, that under this government we may lead a quiet and peaceful life in all godliness and honesty. And may Thy Church flourish to Thy glory and the salvation of souls redeemed by Thy Son our Lord. Amen.

This is from the Lutheran Book of Prayer (1931).

LORD Jesus, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, on this day we are thrilled as we  remember the greatness of our country’s past and give Thee thanks for the blessings we enjoy through the years. Teach me anew to treasure and appreciate this dearly won liberty of conscience and freedom of worship, which is the very cornerstone of our country’s glory. Let me at no time misuse my freedom nor neglect to praise Thy holy name. Help me to appreciate the peace and order maintained by my Government. Give me willingness to share in the processes of this democratic rule; to respect my country’s laws, and to work and pray for the preservation of its institutions and serve my country wherever possible. Protect me and my fellow citizens from all subversive opinions, and let not our Government fall a pray to selfish interests. Teach us as a people that Thou art ruling the destinies of men and nations and that the future rests in Thy good counsel. Above all, O Lord, I pray Thee, turn the hearts of the people to that freedom which Thou alone, Savior and Redeemer, canst give to us all. In Thy name. Amen.

This is also from the Lutheran Book of Prayer.

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More painted rocks

I bought some rocks from Amazon. Yes. You read that correctly. I bought some rocks to paint on Amazon. I love how smooth these rocks are.

Don’t give up rocks

I put these and some other rocks in the plant boxes in downtown Waukesha

A sunny rock

Here is a picture of one of my sunny rocks laying in the flowers. I left the religious rocks on top of the filing cabinet near a hair salon and the Social Security office on South Street.

Jesus loves you rock
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Prayer of discernment

My pastor at St Luke’s Lutheran Church in Waukesha shared this prayer with us.

Lord God, I am facing a difficult decision in my life and I do not know the road to take. You have given me the awesome power to choose freely as well as the intelligence to choose wisely. Inspire me to make the right decision no matter what it may be.

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Freedom. Rights.

What does freedom mean to you?

I believe that everyone has certain rights due to being humans. Our government doesn’t give us these rights, they recognize and protect these rights.

Freedom of speech is part of the first amendment to the US constitution. This recognizes my ability to say what I think without fear of my government. There can be limits to this right but only in very specifically defined ways. This assures that we can debate the issues of running a democracy. I know someone out there is thinking,”No. We are a republic.” Since we vote on people to represent us rather than directly vote to pass laws, this can be argued. However, we can encourage our leaders to make decisions that match the popular position. So, I believe that we are a democracy and a republic.

The first amendment is full of these freedoms that we as Americans hold dear. The right to protest and assemble. I had a roommate in college from Hong Kong who called protests riots. I never could get her to see the difference. I walked in my city’s Black Lives Matter protest. The organizer failed or deliberately didn’t get a permit. So, the police had to come over to the organizer in order to know our route.  The city got mad at him for this because we interfered with traffic. I kept walking on the sidewalk because it felt wrong to interfere with traffic. The second protest was on the sidewalk where the first one should have been. Like freedom of speech, I am okay with limiting my rights in order not to interfere with the rights of others. Freedom of the press helps us to be informed on what our government is doing. I still remember when the US government lied to us about the weapons of mass destruction in order to justify a war.

There are other rights that are not listed but are still very important such as property rights, privacy rights and abortion. I know some of my friends think that I support murdering unborn babies because of this position. I believe that many pregnant people who consider abortion are faced with a very hard decision. I have attempted to listen to some books describing the experience of facing this decision but one book had too much political commentary by the abortion doctor who gathered the stories.

As if this post isn’t too long now, I started thinking about religious freedom. The first amendment protects the church from interference from the government. However, we have built a separation between government and religion through tradition and the Supreme Court. This is important to me because I want people to come to Christ through a voluntary act in response to God’s love not through societal pressure. So, I want most laws to protect rights rather than force ethical behavior. Murder is wrong because people have a right to be safe as they live and work rather than the fact that it is wrong. Lying is wrong but not illegal. We need some other laws to keep things orderly such as traffic laws.

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Find my rocks

I am out planting my rocks. I found a rather boxy one and painted it to look like a Waukesha Metro bus and left it at the bus depot. I remember when this building was new. I loved having an actual building with a restroom.

My next round of rocks
Waukesha bus depot

I put the other ones in Frame Park. I am praying that they make someone smile and renew their hope for the future.

My city, Waukesha, is doing a city trail challenge if you are interested in visiting a variety of trails.

I had trouble getting the name of the person after the quote to be legible due to the rough rocks. I left one at Walmart and the other one in downtown Waukesha.

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Leadership quote

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams

I painted a rock and put this quote on it. The rock is now sitting at my work station.

What is your favorite leadership quote?