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Three lessons from the time Elijah asked God to take his life

Elijah had just finished the most amazing miracle in his life. He challenged the followers of Baal to competition to see which god/God can burn up a sacrifice on command. If you know the story, the God of Israel manages to burn up the sacrifice even though it is soaking wet. Here are three lessons that I see in this text (1Kings 19).

1. Sometimes our worst moment follows one of our most amazing moments. In chapter 18, God showed the people of Israel that He is God rather than Baal. What an amazing high this must have been for Elijah. Then God brought rain and Jezebel declared that she will kill Elijah by tomorrow. When he heard this, he was afraid and ran away.

2. Sometimes an issue requires more than just faith. I have heard people say that Jesus is all you need. I think these people are sincere but wrong. When Elijah asked God to take his life, (19:4) He sent an angel. The angel fed him and let him sleep.  The angel did this a second time before sending him to journey to meet God. God shows that Elijah needed more than just a word from God. He needed food and rest before moving on. I think this reminds us how much our physical well being can affect how we see our life and world. 

3. Sometimes what one thinks is true is different than reality. After the angel had fed him two times, Elijah went to a cave in Horeb mountain.

God asked, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only left, and now they are trying to kill me too.:

(1 Kings 19:14)

Elijah thought that he was the only prophet left. But, God knew otherwise. He directed Elijah to anoint Elisha has his successor. He also states that he still had seven thousand followers who didn’t bow the knee to Baal (18).

God is working behind the scenes even when we think He is defeated.

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Introducing me

This is me on a mission trip to Texas to help re-build after Hurricane Harvey.

Before I started school, my mom divorced my dad. A few years later, my mom married my step-father. While he loved me, he mistreated me. He yelled at me.

I blamed myself for his behavior. I thought that I had made him lose his temper. I suspect that sounds very familiar to some of you. It took me a long time to realize that he mistreated me.

My classmates picked on me too. Here are a few snippets of that.

Notes that say things like “Satan has his eyes on you.”

One time, a boy was throwing peaches at me during lunch. I ended up throwing away the food that the peach landed in.

I spent a lot of my recesses standing next to the teacher with my best friend, A.

One time a workbook disappeared from my desk and re-appeared at the end of the school year. I had to buy a new one.

At college, I feared that I was too stupid to go to college. Good grades weren’t enough evidence to disprove this belief. This was the first time that I saw a psychologist (diagnosis: dysthymic disorder)

My first depressive episode included fearing monsters coming out of my shower drain. I knew that the monsters were not real but couldn’t get rid of the thinking. I have wondered if this thinking was psychotic features that can be found in depression. The psychiatrist dodged this question. I never had the guts to ask my therapist though.  Gross images of me having stabbed my cat also popped into my mind.

Sometimes, I sat on the couch without moving. “Move, T.” I would blink my eyeballs. “There I moved.” During these moments, my heart rate seemed to be very fast and my mind seemed to be thinking really hard. But I wasn’t aware of any deep thoughts.

During my first depressive episode, I started taking anti-depressants. I still remember when my therapist said that maybe I had broken my brain.

I wish I could say that I am all better now. But, recovery doesn’t work that way. I feel perfectly normal and happy some days. While I feel overwhelmed on other days.