Hymn: When Our World is Rent by Violence

“When our world is rent by Violence and our lives are marred by grief, when our songs of calm assurance turn to cries of unbelief: God, we raise our lamentation seeking refuge and relief. “

This first verse makes me think of Nashville and the active shooter at the Christian school. That community is crying out in grief and anger similar to what my city did after Mr Darrell Brooks Jr drove in our parade.

“When our cities stand forsaken and the poor must beg for bread, when the pris’ner sits forgotten and the homeless find no bed, God, we raise our lamentation: waken justice from the dead!”

The third verse looks at the struggles of the individual rather than groups or communities like in the previous verses. “When our lives are burnt to ashes and our hopes fade like a dream, when our stories lose their meaning and despair becomes their theme, God, we raise our lamentation: Come, Lord Jesus, to redeem!”

I can relate to some of this verse. I remember being unable to feel happy or hope. The sky would be blue on a sunny warm day and I couldn’t enjoy it.

The last verse feels like a prayer to me. “Raise up beauty from the ashes; end our violence; tend our peace, Give us visions of a future where all captives find release, where oppression is evicted, and all works of hatred cease.”

This hymn is in All Creation Sings (ELCA hymnal) as hymn number 1052. The lyrics were written by David Bjorlin.

Serenity Prayer

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things which should be changed,

And the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will, so that I may be reasonably happy in his life, and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

I had heard the beginning of this prayer read aloud at support groups. Then, I joined overcomers’ outreach which is a Christian twelve step group. I was shocked when I heard the whole prayer.

The love of Jesus is with us

Sometimes, I feel like Sunday has a theme to it. I was thinking about today’s theme on the way home from church.

Jesus dying for us

I read a devotional (Chris in Our Home) that my church keeps by the information desk. Here is a quote from today’s entry (March 26th).

“I am moved by times Jesus himself felt alone and forsaken. These episodes in scripture remind me in my most desperate moments that the triune God is with me, understands me, and accompanies me as I navigate rough terrain”. The writer’s name is Mary Jo Anderson.

This quote filled me with the hope that Jesus will be with me always just as he promised at the end of the book of Matthew. “…I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20, NKJV)

At church, we heard about the pain and suffering that Jesus experienced as He died for us.

May Jesus be with you always. When you need His presence the most, I pray that He will reassure you that He is beside you through his word and the people who love you. For we all need His loving presence to get through the tough times of our lives. Amen.

Prayer for strength and protection

O God, who knowest us to be set in the midst of so many and great dangers, that by reason of the frailty of our nature we cannot always stand upright: grant to us such strength and protection, as may support us in all dangers, and carry us through all temptations; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen Book of Common Prayer, 1662

A difficult goodbye

Describe the last difficult “goodbye” you said.

Earlier this week, my cat died. In mid January, I noticed my cat was sneezing like crazy and took her to the vet. They showed me a swollen left cheek. I couldn’t figure out how I never noticed. They gave me an antibiotic. I proved my incompetence by dropping the bottle and spilling some of it. I had to go get more at the vet. Then, I was confused how long to administer it. Usually, I must use antibiotics until you run out. I stopped using it on 11 or 12. I felt guilty for forcing her to drink the the medication. I allowed that guilt to stop treating her. I started trying to make a follow up appointment after work.

In February, I started seeing red marks on my bed sheets. I tried to clean her face and discovered that she was bleeding on her face. I called my vet and got the emergency vet number. I took her to the vet while it was snowing. They told me that she had a serious dental problem and to schedule an appointment with my vet. I called the next morning at work and did that. My vet told me how much wait she had lost. She had always been skinny but now I could feel every part of her spine and ribs.

One of the vest at my clinic was out due to surgery. So, I had to make an appointment a little more than a week out. I was now administering antibiotic and a pain reliever.

Last weekend, I watched my cat get weaker and weaker. I sat with her laying on me for hours I discovered some new ridges on her skull and a tendon on the back of her neck. I told her that I will miss her if she leaves me.

Puffers died on Monday (February 27). Now, I am catless. I am working on decluttering and getting rid of some of the fur all over my apartment. I keep wanting to say,” Puffers, your human is home” when I return from work. I keep thinking that I need to feed her in the mornings and evenings.

I pray that there is a pet heaven like in the rainbow bridge poem.

Prayer from St Luke’s Lutheran Church

My church prayed a prayer that I want to share here.

Send your Spirit of truth, O God;

Rekindle your gifts within us:

Renew our faith, increase our hope and deepen our love , for the sake of a world in need

Faithful to your Word, O God, draw near to all who call on you; through Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be honor and glory forever. Amen.

Half a century of life

I will be turning 50 in a week. I have mixed feelings about this birthday.

When I was in high school, I wanted to become a doctor in order to help others. I discovered that I freeze up under stress during college. A woman on my dorm floor attempted suicide by taking pills. I heard her vomiting in a stall in the bathroom and suggested some cold medicine. Then, I went to do more laundry and passed back by. This time someone was trying to get someone to help get the unconscious woman out of the bathroom. Did I help? No, I stood there and thought about how stupid I was. My brain was filled with self insults. I am too stupid to know what to do. Over the years, I have been in therapy and taking anti-depressants. Now, I can handle more stress before this happens. Yet, my brain still insults me when I get stressed. At work, my brain tells me that I am too stupid to do my job or they will think this about me. I try to argue with it as I have been trained to do in therapy. So, I am working a factory job that is low stress. I wish I could be doing a job that involves helping people but stress pushes me to obsess about what others think about me especially if they are authority figures.

On the other side, I am excited that I have lived almost a half century. I believe that I have encouraged some people with this blog and other writings. I suspect that my painted rocks have made a few people smile when they found them.

“I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find – at the age of fifty, say – that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about…It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.” Agatha Christie

This quote reminds me of how curious I am about things. I recently discovered that the French helped immensely in the US revolution. We probably would not have won if it wasn’t for the French. I knew that the French was involved because of the Statue of Liberty. But, I never knew what roll they had in the war.

What will I discover next?

What will you learn or discover today?

One year anniversary of the Waukesha Christmas parade tragedy

Christmas parade memorial mural in downtown Waukesha

With the one year anniversary of the Waukesha Christmas parade tragedy, I have been thinking a lot about that day, the Brooks trial and the past year.

I took a picture of the new mural. It has six butterflies and six flowers for the number of people who died on or after November 21, 2021 due to this event. The city has scheduled an anniversary event on November 21st at Veterans Park at 4:39 PM. They are also working on a parade memorial for Grede Park and Main Street.

I have decided to remember the event by painting the back of my Star of Hope with a new design. I hope to bring it to our Christmas parade in December. I am also working on a collection of rocks to put out around downtown Waukesha. I saw some others on Facebook who are planning on placing painted rocks too.

What are you planning on doing to remember the pain that we all here in Waukesha city have experienced? How is your recovery coming along?

Oops Rocks

I enjoy painting rocks in the hope of encouraging others. But, sometimes I mess up. My most recent rock was cute until I sprayed it with the protective coating. The design smeared really badly.

Now, I am wondering what to do with this rock. Will the finder see it as ugly? Could it remind them not to give up after making a big mistake? I wonder If I should keep it instead.

I decided to leave it by a tree sapling near the hospital. I hope someone enjoys it even with the runny message.