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I joined a weight loss study called the EVO study and their calorie goal is 1,500 a day! I suspect that I will feel hungry a lot during the next six months. I am used to eating 2,500 or maybe even 3,000 a day.

So, I am working on planning my coping  techniques. When I was in therapy for depression, I learned about self-acceptance and self-talk. The last time that I went on a diet and lost weight, I felt guilty every time I overate. I will remind myself that I am still a worthwhile person even when I lose my mind and eat every sweet thing that I can get my hands on. I will tell myself that dieting is hard for everyone. It is understandable to fail at times. I am not sure what I will do when I start having food dreams or cravings. Fortunately, I love fruits and salads.

My second plan is to reward myself at specific weight goals. I will go to St. Vincent de Paul when I reach a weight lower than 180. I am currently at 185. I will pat myself on my back mentally for each day that I meet the goal calorie count. I have no idea how to celebrate a week of meeting the goal for the majority of a week.

The study also has a fat goal and exercise goal. The exercise goal gets gradually increased as time goes on.

Another plan that I want to work on is to ask for support from my friends and family. I am uncertain how they can help me. I am not used to exercising with others.

My favorite exercise is walking but I tend to do it by myself and very slowly. I will do some brisk walking as part of my walks if it will ever stop raining. Another exercise that I enjoy is kayaking down the Fox River but I have to save up money for the kayak rental. I will be looking for some other fun exercise ideas. So, I will use this journey as a way to try out new foods and exercise activities.

As you can tell, I will be putting my therapy experience into a lot of use.

I am thinking about doing a visioning collage as a visual reminder of why I am doing this. If I do, I want something to represent improved health, longer life span, more energy and better self-confidence.

What are you doing to improve your life for yourself?

What are your plans on how to do that?

What challenges are you expecting and how do you plan to respond when they come up?

I believe that everyone has certain rights due to being humans. Our government doesn’t give us these rights, they recognize and protect these rights.

Freedom of speech is part of the first amendment to the US constitution. This recognizes my ability to say what I think without fear of my government. There can be limits to this right but only in very specifically defined ways. This assures that we can debate the issues of running a democracy. I know someone out there is thinking,”No. We are a republic.” Since we vote on people to represent us rather than directly vote to pass laws, this can be argued. However, we can encourage our leaders to make decisions that match the popular position. So, I believe that we are a democracy and a republic.

The first amendment is full of these freedoms that we as Americans hold dear. The right to protest and assemble. I had a roommate in college from Hong Kong who called protests riots. I never could get her to see the difference. I walked in my city’s Black Lives Matter protest. The organizer failed or deliberately didn’t get a permit. So, the police had to come over to the organizer in order to know our route.  The city got mad at him for this because we interfered with traffic. I kept walking on the sidewalk because it felt wrong to interfere with traffic. The second protest was on the sidewalk where the first one should have been. Like freedom of speech, I am okay with limiting my rights in order not to interfere with the rights of others. Freedom of the press helps us to be informed on what our government is doing. I still remember when the US government lied to us about the weapons of mass destruction in order to justify a war.

There are other rights that are not listed but are still very important such as property rights, privacy rights and abortion. I know some of my friends think that I support murdering unborn babies because of this position. I believe that many pregnant people who consider abortion are faced with a very hard decision. I have attempted to listen to some books describing the experience of facing this decision but one book had too much political commentary by the abortion doctor who gathered the stories.

As if this post isn’t too long now, I started thinking about religious freedom. The first amendment protects the church from interference from the government. However, we have built a separation between government and religion through tradition and the Supreme Court. This is important to me because I want people to come to Christ through a voluntary act in response to God’s love not through societal pressure. So, I want most laws to protect rights rather than force ethical behavior. Murder is wrong because people have a right to be safe as they live and work rather than the fact that it is wrong. Lying is wrong but not illegal. We need some other laws to keep things orderly such as traffic laws.

I have experienced a lot of negative feelings including sadness (major depressive disorder), social anxiety, anger and grief. So, this post will probably be long.

When I was angry, I went on a brisk walk. I can’t even remember why I was mad. I just remember wanting to kick or throw the stuff in my apartment. So, I deliberately wore myself out. I remember having an inner argument as I walked on the sidewalk. I wondered if anyone saw me walking and gesturing with my hands.

Other times, I have cried or talked it out. I have also scribbled or torn up a paper with a word that represents what I am mad at.

When I was in a depression episode, I reached out to a therapist and psychiatrist for help. The therapist helped me to work through some unresolved issues concerning the death of my great aunt while the anti-depressants helped me by reducing social anxiety and improved the sleeping pattern.

I also wrote “Dear God” letters, pretend therapy and created some of my own art therapy as a way to express and work through my emotions.

What has worked for you? What have you seen work for others?

If I was the world dictator for a day and could ban phrases, I’d ban “I can’t”, “I should” and “I am a bad…”.

I can’t in our thinking and words tend to decrease our willingness to try with all of our abilities. Yet, there are some things that we must accept as limits to our abilities. So, I suppose I wouldn’t ban these words, I would choose to reduce their usage though.

I used to think “I should dump my trash, clean my dishes, clean the microwave, mop the  floor…” Until I overwhelmed myself. I have managed to reduce the frequency of this phrase. Using  the phrase “I should” will make you feel guilty or overwhelm  you.

The last phrase that I listed is insulting yourself. I seem to love to do this especially in response to compliments.

As you can tell, I have a lot to learn. What phrases are you attempting to decrease in your thinking and words?